tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39016375764410286682024-02-07T09:14:56.521+00:00Dread Pirate Roberts-Harry"We read fantasy to find the colours again, I think. To taste strong spices and hear the songs the sirens sang." -- GRRMThe Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-50194242275951927272016-12-31T13:55:00.001+00:002016-12-31T14:59:18.075+00:00Emlyn's top 10 films of 2016<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">There’s been a lot of ink spilled about 2016 being a terrible year for films, but that’s really not the case. Sure, it’s been a fairly crummy year in a lot of respects, and the big studio movies have by and large been fairly forgettable, but for smaller titles it’s been a great year – and there’s even been the odd really good blockbuster as well. So without further ado, let’s get to it: in no particular order, my ten favourite films of 2016.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>BONE TOMAHAWK</b> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Forget about THE HATEFUL EIGHT – this was the best Western starring Kurt Russell and his magnificent moustache released this year. A compellingly weird genre blend of old-fashioned oater and cannibalistic horror, it certainly stick in the memory. The first two acts play out much like THE SEARCHERS, with a quartet of cowboys and gunslingers trading some of the year’s best dialogue as they pursue their cannibal quarry. And then the final act slams a hard left into truly gruesome, terrifying horror in the vein of THE HILLS HAVE EYES as our characters realise just how badly outmatched they are. It’s terrific stuff, and has the best kill of the year too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>THE NICE GUYS</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Shane Black’s back with one of the funniest films of the year, teaming up a hard-boiled Russell Crowe and a delightfully slapstick Ryan Gosling as they try to solve a mystery involving a dead porn star, a missing girl and something to do with the automobile industry in ‘70s LA. Gosling is a revelation here with a real gift for inspired idiocy, and while it’s perhaps not as good as KISS KISS BANG BANG, it’s always a treat to have another Shane Black buddy cop movie. Sequel, please. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>HELL OR HIGH WATER</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Another Western, but this time a modern one as two down-on-their-luck brothers rob the bank that’s about to foreclose on their land so they can pay it back with its own money. Genuinely nail-biting and constantly surprising, it has Chris Pine’s best performance to date and a welcome return to Rooster Cogburn mode from Jeff Bridges as the surprisingly sympathetic antagonist. Besides, the real baddie here is capitalism, as we see how the banks have laid waste to rural Texas, driving ordinary people to desperate measures in order to survive. In the circumstances, it’s hard not to want the brothers to succeed in ripping off the bank that’s ripped off so many before now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>I, DANIEL BLAKE</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ken Loach came back out of retirement to make this, and that goodness he did: it’s a searing, devastating indictment of the current Conservative government’s austerity policies and the endless, unthinking cruelty that people endure at its hands. It’ll make you ashamed to be British and want to immediately volunteer at your local food bank. An achingly honest, almost unbearably moving film which is as simple as it is potent, it’s the most important British film of the year by a long way and should be required viewing for employees of the DWP. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>MOANA</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Disney has had a stunning year, and their animation department is no exception. On top of being a refreshingly unique and effortlessly charming tale inspired by the mythology of the Pacific Islands, a setting we see far too little of in our cinemas, MOANA is spectacularly beautiful and has a soundtrack to die for courtesy of Lin-Manuel Miranda and Opetaia Foa’i. My only complaint is that I would’ve liked more songs in the native languages of the Pacific rather than English, but it feels churlish to complain too much in the face of how purely enjoyable this movie is. And who knew The Rock could sing this well? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>LA LA LAND</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">What is there to say about this one that hasn’t already been said? A simultaneously life-affirming and heartbreaking musical romance, it confirms that director Damien Chazelle is the real deal if there were any doubt after WHIPLASH, features career-best work from Ryan Gosling (him again) and Emma Stone, and is likely to have you dancing in the aisles from the very first musical number. But where Another Day Of Sun managed to plaster a big stupid grin on this non-fan of musicals, Emma Stone’s climactic Audition and the overwhelming finale will rip the still-beating heart out of your chest and stamp on it for good measure. It’s been a long time since a film made me cry this much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>SILENCE</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Every Scorsese movie is special, but a nearly 30-year passion project of his is truly something to savour. Epic in scope but also hugely personal, it’s a film that expects a lot from its audience but has rich rewards for those who put the work in. It’s an inquiry into the nature of faith, the unspoken arrogance of missionary work and the dangers of cultural imperialism that should prove enormously satisfying even for non-believers. At nearly three hours it’s not an easy watch, but it’s one of the most thematically dense and thought-provoking films I’ve seen in some time. I can’t wait to see it again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>ARRIVAL</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">One of the best true SF films in years, ARRIVAL is one that we’ll probably be talking about in the same terms as CLOSE ENCOUNTERS or BLADE RUNNER in 20 years’ time. How great is it to see an alien invasion film where the priority is to communicate with them rather than kill them all? A paean to the best of the human spirit and a desperate call for cooperation in a world that seems to be more divided by the day, this is truly a film of its moment in time and might help restore some faith in humanity after this disastrous year. Before seeing this, I was deeply sceptical of any attempt at a sequel to BLADE RUNNER. But with Denis Villeneuve at the helm, now I say bring it on. Can he do DUNE next? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>THE HANDMAIDEN</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">This one’s a bit of a cheat as it’s not out in the UK until April, but it’s my list and I make the rules. The best film of the 2016 London Film Festival for my money, it’s a period drama heist movie set in Japan-occupied 1930s Korea with two lesbian protagonists, from the director of Oldboy. What’s not to like about that? Another one that will reward repeat viewings, the sheer number of twists and rug-pulls in its storytelling beggars belief – the plotting alone is a huge achievement. But it’s also a fascinating period piece set in an era of history most people in the West will know little about, and a very sweet, surprisingly funny love story about two women taking the fight to their male oppressors and actually making quite a good go of it. I think it would be a very good date movie.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>ROGUE ONE</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">What can I say? I’m not sure I’m physically capable of disliking a film where a Rebel ship pushes one Star Destroyer into another, smashing them both to smithereens in the process. Add to that a brief, glorious glimpse of what a STAR WARS horror movie might look like and a story about ordinary people choosing to give everything they have to a cause more important than any individual, and you have a great space opera movie which takes this venerable franchise to previously unseen, very exciting places. As much as I love the Skywalkers, I also loved seeing the normal people of this universe, and what they do when there’s no Chosen One to save the day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">But seriously, that space battle was an all-timer, wasn’t it? </span><br />
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<i>Image: The Handmaiden </i></div>
The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-21741994714479620172016-11-12T19:30:00.001+00:002016-11-12T19:30:24.782+00:00Make Space Opera Relevant Again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
What a depressing week, in what a depressing year, this has been. After many years of what had seemed like genuine, positive progress towards fairer treatment for everyone and increased acceptance of people different from ourselves, the Brexit vote and now the election of President Trump have dragged us right back again. Hopefully it’s just a case of two steps forward, one step back, but who knows at this point. We’ve an ugly few years ahead of us, and things are almost certain to get worse before they get better.<br />
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But it’s often been said that the best art is produced in times like these, and times like these can reveal new ways of looking at the art we already have. This often especially applies to science fiction; I’ve written before that Dune, a novel that was timely in 1965, seems almost prophetic 50 years later, and two of 2016’s biggest science fiction films, both new properties in venerable franchises – Star Trek Beyond and the clunkingly named Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - have been granted a relevance by this year’s turbulent politics that they might not otherwise have had.<br />
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Star Trek took me very much by surprise when it came out. Into Darkness was a disappointment, I think we can all agree, that aimed for political commentary in the vein of the classic series but largely bungled it with a needlessly complicated story and a “twist” that didn’t make sense in the context of the rebooted series. Beyond, by contrast, is refreshingly simple and straightforward; just another mission in the life of the Enterprise that plays like an extended episode of the first TV show - and that’s meant as a compliment. <br />
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If that were all it had going for it, it would still have been a solid, entertaining space opera movie, but where it shocked me was with its politics. Not that they were in themselves surprising, given Trek’s long, proud history of looking forward to a utopian future where infinite diversity in infinite combinations exists peacefully and in prosperity, but in how it seemed to be commenting on Brexit, which had only occurred a month before release.<br />
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Without wishing to spoil, as surprisingly few people actually went to see it, Kirk, Spock, Bones and company find themselves up against a militaristic alien called Kraal, who wants to dismantle the Federation, bring back an idealised past that never really existed, and make competition and conflict, rather than cooperation, the driving forces behind civilisation in the galaxy. Needless to say, the Enterprise crew’s vision of unity wins out and Kraal is ultimately defeated, but it’s very interesting to note how comparable much of Kraal’s rhetoric is to that which has been bandied about so much this year. It’s easy to imagine him calling on his followers to “make the Federation great again”. Beyond is a film calling for friendship between disparate peoples and a world where the strong don’t exploit the weak, and it could hardly have come at a better time.<br />
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In an era when hateful, racist demagoguery has dominated so much of the discourse, it’s gratifying to see a film where everyone, regardless of skin colour, sexuality or indeed species, is working together to build a better future rather than drag civilisation back into an imagined past. As screenwriter Simon Pegg said when I interviewed him, much of the appeal of Trek is that it represents a future where humanity makes it, where intelligence and communication is considered valuable, and where angry playground bullies like Donald Trump don’t win.<br />
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Rogue One, on the other hand, isn’t quite as hopeful a vision. Granted, Star Wars isn’t SF in the way Trek is, and it’s not trying to predict our future – it is a long time ago, after all. But after Tuesday, a world where evil has won and everything seems hopeless is rather of the moment. It’s hard to believe such a transparently racist, sexist, callous, intolerant excuse for a human being was voted for by millions of Americans, but it certainly makes the election of Palpatine in the prequels much more plausible. At least he was smart enough to pretend he wasn’t evil.<br />
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But regardless, a film where a tiny, seemingly insignificant rebellion armed with little more that hope stands up to an autocratic regime against all the odds is perhaps one we need right now. And especially when the tip of the spear consists of Felicity Jones, Donnie Yen, Riz Ahmed, Forest Whitaker and Diego Luna. It’s an admirably diverse cast, long overdue for Star Wars, and in a world where the racist rhetoric of the Right looks to paint everyone different from themselves as an Other to be feared and mistrusted, it’s exactly the tonic we need. As long as the movie’s good, at least – this is all speculation and I could be completely wrong.<br />
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Obviously, it’s practically impossible that these direct parallels were intentional. Films like these take a long time to make, which tends to restrict their ability to be topical. But good SF has a tendency to remain relevant far beyond its initial context, and frequently picks up new relevance as history moves on. Genre fiction has a unique ability to look at the world through its own lens, and oddly, this distancing effect frequently helps it to age better than other fiction. And so it is that, bizarrely, the horrible events of 2016 have granted these films an ability to speak to us in a way their creators surely couldn’t have intended.<br />
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I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with this, if I’m honest, and I’m still slightly in shock from the last week. It’s a bleak period of history we’ve found ourselves in, and it can seem like the constant push for progress in our politics is a futile struggle. But life imitates art, and if we take nothing else from the two biggest, most popular science fiction franchises in the world, it’s that Empires fall, Rebellions win - and Federations endure.<br />
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<i>Image: Chris Weitz via Twitter </i>The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-88286848978553148322016-10-01T14:50:00.004+01:002016-10-01T14:55:31.918+01:00Review: Park Chan-wook's THE HANDMAIDEN <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Park Chan-wook’s new film, The Handmaiden, starts out feeling very unlike what you’d expect from the mind that brought us the twisted delights of Oldboy. For much of the first half, you think you know where things are going, and the weirdness that characterises so much of his work is strangely absent. But then he pulls the rug out from under you, that palpable strangeness starts seeping in like spilled ink soaking through a sheaf of paper, and we’re firmly back in the territory of Choi Min-sik eating a live octopus.<br />
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I started out almost wondering if he’d actually decided to make a simple costume drama – more fool me, I know. The titular handmaiden is Sookee, a pickpocket who’s been installed as the Lady Hideko’s servant to help her boss, posing as the Japanese “Count Fujiwara”, to seduce her and claim her inheritance. But Hideko’s weird, perverted uncle has designs on her for the same reasons, and they need to get her away from him.<br />
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As it happens, Sookee and Hideko end up falling for each other, leading to the sex scene that’s been providing the film with a great deal of press coverage. You’d think this sort of thing wouldn’t be too shocking in a post-Blue Is The Warmest Colour world, but here we are. Park has said that making this kind of film without sex scenes would be like making a war movie with no battles in it, and I have to say I agree. It’s certainly not the only way to convey the powerful attraction between these two women, but it is one of the most effective.<br />
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Obviously these scenes are a culmination to which there’s a lot of buildup, notably a scene where Sookee files down a sharp tooth of Hideko’s, which throbs with tension and suppressed longing. But the film’s too smart for simple titillation, and without wishing to give anything away, it definitely passes judgment on anyone who’s only turned up for the sex scenes. It’s trying to have its cake and eat it too, critiquing these scenes while also offering them up for the audience’s enjoyment, and it just about pulls it off.<br />
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But there’s much more going on here besides this. There’s the fascinating historical context of the Japanese occupation of Korea and the clash between two cultures, and the conflicts between men and women in this oppressive, patriarchal society where husbands treat their wives as little more than disposable amusements. Hardly anyone likes each other in this film and there seem to be half a dozen different schemes going on at any one time, and the tricksy, puzzle box plotting and angry, embittered characters are very much in Park’s wheelhouse.<br />
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Unsurprisingly, revenge is a central theme, but it’s noticeably less hopeless and futile here than in Park’s Vengeance trilogy. Perhaps because the cause here is actually a very just one, and the characters deserve to achieve it more than, say, Oh Dae-su. It’s certainly less gory and nasty than Oldboy, with even the one torture scene towards the end not being especially hard to watch, and despite moments of despair, it’s actually a remarkably optimistic film overall. It’s hardly happy all the time, but there are moments of genuinely rousing triumph here which I’m not used to in Park’s work. His victories are usually Pyrrhic at best.<br />
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So should you see it? It’s a new Park Chan-wook film, of course you should. He’s a master of his craft and he’s on great form here, delivering a gorgeous, richly textured movie which will doubtless inspire lengthy discussions in the pub afterwards. It’s a gripping story, expertly told and with an awful lot on its mind. It’s a pity I can’t say more for fear of spoiling its surprises, but it’s another exceptional work from a genius director. Is it better than Oldboy? Hard to say, not least because it’s fundamentally different in the best way. Park’s still pushing his boundaries, and we’re all better off for it.The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-71056653940449538872016-03-24T19:46:00.002+00:002016-03-24T19:46:17.772+00:00Batman v Superman: Dissection of Justice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The
DC Cinematic Universe is now officially on the move, beginning Warner
Bros' attempt to catch up with their rivals at Marvel and leverage
their vast catalogue of comic-book heroes into a multimillion-dollar
multimedia empire. Batman v Superman brings together the two most
iconic superheroes on the planet in a battle for supremacy... and
falls flat on its face as soon as it leaves the gate. It is not a
promising start for this brave new world.</div>
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This
isn't going to be a conventional review, as much as it is an
examination of all the areas that this film went wrong - at least in
my opinion. Your mileage, of course, may vary.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
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But
before we start digging around in this movie's guts, a few words on
what I did like. Ben Affleck is a good Batman, and Wonder Woman
steals pretty much every scene she's in; it's a pity she only has
about 15 minutes of screen time. The action is mostly very good, and
the final battle is actually quite spectacular - there's no denying
that it's extremely cool to see the Trinity team up to fight
Doomsday, as rubbish a character as he is. Sadly, the finale is also
where the film's fatal flaws become most obviously apparent.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Not
unlike Iron Man 2, the main problem here is that far too much time is
spent laying the groundwork for the inevitable Justice League film
instead of focusing on the story they're trying to tell here. The
clue's in the title: it's trying to be a story about Batman fighting
Superman as well as a prelude to the Justice League, and as a result
it's cluttered, overly busy and a bit directionless. There are a
bunch of cameos from the Flash, Cyborg and Aquaman that serve no
purpose in this narrative, and an utterly baffling nightmare / vision
of a dark future that serves only to confound and confuse.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBdiu8WbiEhuz25Tg_g3pdn80kiVquODY6kHk6yP_e_nxWw4jzULyz6X4Qs0MpNOA0Ev1sJDjld1b8Ime93E5c9R_3LovDfkdYU8FU9GEddp81wQDGRQMKqa67YgqN1o79csHaFlk2deDy/s1600/BVS-03097-CC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBdiu8WbiEhuz25Tg_g3pdn80kiVquODY6kHk6yP_e_nxWw4jzULyz6X4Qs0MpNOA0Ev1sJDjld1b8Ime93E5c9R_3LovDfkdYU8FU9GEddp81wQDGRQMKqa67YgqN1o79csHaFlk2deDy/s400/BVS-03097-CC.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The
final battle, as great as it is, has the effect of making the
preceding two hours of film seem almost completely irrelevant. The
conflict between Batman and Superman gets wrapped up quickly and
perfunctorily, and then they're off to beat up Doomsday. It takes no
time at all for them to become friends, which makes almost the whole
film seem like one giant act of misdirection. Which may have been
deliberate, but all it does is make you wish they'd skipped this
instalment and just jumped straight into Justice League, because it's
much more entertaining watching these characters work together than
fight each other. Honestly, the Trinity united is <i>awesome</i>,
and it's such a shame that it takes so long to get to that point.
It's not helped by the big Batman v Superman fight being curiously
dull and unengaging.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There
are two reasons why I haven't really discussed the first two thirds
of the film. The first is because, as I've said, they basically don't
matter in light of the ending. The second is that they're so
cluttered and convoluted as to make Age of Ultron look like the
Platonic ideal of narrative efficiency by comparison. It doesn't help
the titular fight's sense of irrelevance that it's founded on
misunderstanding and manipulation instead of any real ideological
conflict, and the ways they're manipulated into fighting are far too
Byzantine and labyrinthine to be worth getting into here. Suffice to
say, it's Lex's fault. Spoiler warning!</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
This
is actually the part where we do get into serious spoiler territory,
so if you want to see what few surprises this film has in store
without knowing them in advance, look away now. Come back soon,
because this stuff's pretty juicy.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Sticking
with the Batman v Superman conflict and how pointless it is: the way
it gets resolved truly has to be seen to be believed. It is
laughable, pathetically poorly written, and makes it all the more
obvious that the two halves of the film's title don't gel together at
all. In brief: Superman is down for the count from Kryptonite
poisoning, and Batman is on the brink of <i>murdering him in
the face with a Kryptonite spear</i>.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
(Batman
kills a lot of people in this film. Loads of them. He's practically a
serial killer.)</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCk_kmakOsXyROjSwaQghcVLaoeKWjopfl44VB2Eh1A0vSk1gFsu1tp927mjJgz9r5QFMsPVBYjhwvGkQaHskPZeLGRPsnr8bV41I3WqLLw8MeKs28yPdQv4xpSeGqcM9mromsNOl8WNHH/s1600/BVS-CT-0110.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCk_kmakOsXyROjSwaQghcVLaoeKWjopfl44VB2Eh1A0vSk1gFsu1tp927mjJgz9r5QFMsPVBYjhwvGkQaHskPZeLGRPsnr8bV41I3WqLLw8MeKs28yPdQv4xpSeGqcM9mromsNOl8WNHH/s400/BVS-CT-0110.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Before
he's stabbed, Superman blurts out his mother's name, Martha, because
she's been kidnapped by Lex and is being used as leverage to make him
fight Batman. At which point, Batman loses his fucking mind and
starts screaming "WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?! WHO'S MARTHA?!"
in his patented growly voice, because his mother was called Martha
too. He then puts down the spear and they become friends. Let that
sink in: he went to war against an indestructible alien who
obliterated a city and was partially responsible for the deaths of
thousands, and he called a truce because <i>their mums have
the same name</i>. It beggars
belief.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Even
more hilariously, Batman then goes on to rescue Martha Kent and
introduces himself as "a friend of your son's". To
reiterate: not ten minutes ago he was about to stab Superman in the
face with a Kryptonite spear. Friendship is cheap when you're the
Batman, apparently!</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There
are any number of other problems as well. The villains are extremely
weak: Jesse Eisenberg as Lex actually isn't as bad as I feared, but
his motivation is practically nonexistent; and Doomsday is crap, has
always been crap and will always be crap. The film goes to great
lengths to make it clear that they're fighting in uninhabited areas,
but the heroes decide to bring Doomsday back to the city anyway,
presumably because it's not a proper fight without at least some
civilian casualties. Most of the film involves very little happening
at great length, and some of the dialogue is truly atrocious, like
Lex declaring that it's "Fight night!" He might as well
have gone all the way and yelled "Llllllllllet's get ready to
ruuuuuumblllllllllle!"
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Narrative
illogic abounds: Batman, the World's Greatest Detective, has
seemingly done shockingly little research into Superman's motives,
and apparently doesn't watch the news, blaming Superman for a bomb
blast which he clearly wasn't responsible for. And to return to that
dream sequence: it can't be a dream because Bruce has no way of
knowing that Darkseid Is; but if it's a vision of the future, why has
Superman apparently teamed up with Darkseid? Or did they just not
think this through? Also, why is Future Flash's costume so awful?
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaGm33TI9JA7t6bIq28NKhjeZT3rs0XjqxpUr1LzbwasDFca8RhyphenhyphenXfOlZ9ssUdwl_AMvzGMse7Q1f6uCfjCle1LC46hAqBWDqkpO5Zl5kTMWhgQdNdJfikgJoRKQYHs97E2Nj712eyNpeq/s1600/BVS-FP-0588.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaGm33TI9JA7t6bIq28NKhjeZT3rs0XjqxpUr1LzbwasDFca8RhyphenhyphenXfOlZ9ssUdwl_AMvzGMse7Q1f6uCfjCle1LC46hAqBWDqkpO5Zl5kTMWhgQdNdJfikgJoRKQYHs97E2Nj712eyNpeq/s400/BVS-FP-0588.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I
feel like I've dwelt on the final act too much, but honestly, vast
swathes of this film have just blurred together in my memory. It's
only in the final third that anything interesting happens, while
paradoxically undoing everything that happened up to that point. It
really does feel like two films awkwardly smushed together, and it
made me yearn for the World's Finest film that could have been if
Zack Snyder weren't fixated on recreating the iconic fight from The
Dark Knight Returns, which even there only happened because Frank
Miller couldn't figure out how else to end the story.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I'll
wrap this up as I'm going on at some length here. It's really quite
depressing. Superman is my favourite superhero, and I wanted this
movie to be good. I liked Man of Steel and I thought Watchmen was
genuinely brilliant, so I was prepared to give Batman v Superman the
benefit of the doubt. But sadly, cool fight scenes cannot rescue a
botched screenplay that can't make up its mind which of two distinct
stories it's trying to tell. Here's hoping that Wonder Woman's movie
is an improvement - she's the best thing about this one, even if
she's only really here to promote her solo outing. But that just sums
up Batman v Superman, really: everything here only exists to set up
potentially much more interesting films in the future. It's a pity we
couldn't cut to the chase.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Images:
Warner Bros.
</div>
The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-58368950146980360752016-01-03T17:57:00.001+00:002016-01-03T21:39:06.804+00:00Emlyn's top 10 films of 2015I shan't bother faffing around with the introduction, but instead get straight to the (hopefully) interesting stuff. 2015 was a very good year at the cinema, and these are my picks for the ten best films of that year. So in no particular order, here we go!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>WHIPLASH</b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu5ISqdBQb5PX1moRHo99QauW3Yvbagj6RZ1FfXES9TX-Q08avbHVQqz3Z7B6QLUvW0qIy15Bt7kwkhOIdsIUSlGXJ_hyphenhyphenANp-blb-giRs0oM-vCWo2XGvtjMAigzTHsXNXIST4TP-y7FZC/s1600/Whiplash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu5ISqdBQb5PX1moRHo99QauW3Yvbagj6RZ1FfXES9TX-Q08avbHVQqz3Z7B6QLUvW0qIy15Bt7kwkhOIdsIUSlGXJ_hyphenhyphenANp-blb-giRs0oM-vCWo2XGvtjMAigzTHsXNXIST4TP-y7FZC/s400/Whiplash.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Whiplash is a film that manages to make endless, self-indulgent drum solos unbearably tense and exciting, so it definitely gets points for that. But more than that, it's a fascinating investigation of what it takes to succeed, the drive you need to have and the price you have to be willing to pay for it. It's also propelled by two of the year's best performances, and J.K. Simmons' monstrously evil, yet oddly understandable, Terence Fletcher remains one of 2015's most memorable characters.</div>
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE FALLING</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiybGsmaJx3LgO93a-ntZ1ks7jOfn06pBj78SEYk-z94EGHSG2Y080kesVjDMssjvj7-OfZu47201YXRdM2C_0SSwuofS9pFu30WzoWv-iuUPzuoi1BuHL4Ujx6LRrtWvJ5e3WWakDv1cu/s1600/The+Falling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiybGsmaJx3LgO93a-ntZ1ks7jOfn06pBj78SEYk-z94EGHSG2Y080kesVjDMssjvj7-OfZu47201YXRdM2C_0SSwuofS9pFu30WzoWv-iuUPzuoi1BuHL4Ujx6LRrtWvJ5e3WWakDv1cu/s400/The+Falling.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I don't know why I like this film so much. Genuinely. I have no idea what it was about, and I barely know what happened in it. But it creates an atmosphere like nothing else I've seen this year; it's not a horror film, but it's weird, haunting and unsettling in all the best ways. An under-seen gem, it's definitely one to seek out. </div>
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>CAROL</b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTymA0ntkQh4V8_bRQK5KlLgRYmmiEDSSRzysesW6RMkXIabBxCTeSnGmQ6Qy7rbxF6pWJXqjOyFYQndmxbWHe551q6Ijp1V9o0Xac3JD7txoMxMt7H62S5MAWQgKRZh-3QgJM7CBACLeu/s1600/Carol.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTymA0ntkQh4V8_bRQK5KlLgRYmmiEDSSRzysesW6RMkXIabBxCTeSnGmQ6Qy7rbxF6pWJXqjOyFYQndmxbWHe551q6Ijp1V9o0Xac3JD7txoMxMt7H62S5MAWQgKRZh-3QgJM7CBACLeu/s400/Carol.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Carol is the main reason why this list is a little late. I only got around to seeing it the other day, and I had a feeling it would end up here. I'm happy to have been proved right. An understated, beautifully performed illicit romance in 1950s New York, it's safe to say that many Oscars will be coming this one's way. Cate Blanchett is one of the best actresses alive, and the final shot may be my favourite of the year.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE MARTIAN</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHeCo_Ax_3seWjWnwo4jJF8fOXz3X20jMKSEzS51BPK6mjzAzgpSXUX31rxULlEi-TGzczRDqlpphrPsGxHNncoY1SPIUY9Jr1M23G82OHbab1mTn_rQQ42m0oHWfO94VpexQwyOKzontJ/s1600/The+Martian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHeCo_Ax_3seWjWnwo4jJF8fOXz3X20jMKSEzS51BPK6mjzAzgpSXUX31rxULlEi-TGzczRDqlpphrPsGxHNncoY1SPIUY9Jr1M23G82OHbab1mTn_rQQ42m0oHWfO94VpexQwyOKzontJ/s400/The+Martian.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Ridley Scott made a good movie again! It's been a long while, but he finally returns to the genre that made his name with smashing success. The Martian is a compelling survival drama that's also one of the most unexpectedly funny films of the year, and is a shining example of how you can make a smart, scientifically accurate (mostly) film that doesn't feel the need to talk down to its audience.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>CRIMSON PEAK</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Oy-i9DM2jNJ1SH6HVDKCfvR1iW5nM7FypXOt3QmesvxhFKf20nIfhwacDQFcYceuqjR9hesz-_ytPGM9Gnm8DpEeBQGdx7lqrtp0JIImKwync5VyLPbxOMZrmLGr3LiYU352WfR_pYEk/s1600/Crimson+Peak.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Oy-i9DM2jNJ1SH6HVDKCfvR1iW5nM7FypXOt3QmesvxhFKf20nIfhwacDQFcYceuqjR9hesz-_ytPGM9Gnm8DpEeBQGdx7lqrtp0JIImKwync5VyLPbxOMZrmLGr3LiYU352WfR_pYEk/s400/Crimson+Peak.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'll probably catch flak for this one, but I thought Crimson Peak was a hoot. The marketing was terrible, it's not a horror movie, but if you go into it in the right mindset, it's great fun. It's an over-the-top Grand Guignol gothic melodrama, with gorgeous set design and just the right amount of self-aware silliness. It's as if the old Hammer horror team decided to make a pantomime. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>INSIDE OUT</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQpnWWMFL4OLB69BxEwEB1OxLgFZDOBpaf9Fd2H9wY3nuYtvPDwPrDr4WS-1H9yEN9WUZQ4CO-gZh0B0XTR4tUHhsaOiwsN1bFehKuIRNxQumXkF4zGCGqE_9ZcAQDsI2aLGZrP3yFq6c7/s1600/Inside+Out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQpnWWMFL4OLB69BxEwEB1OxLgFZDOBpaf9Fd2H9wY3nuYtvPDwPrDr4WS-1H9yEN9WUZQ4CO-gZh0B0XTR4tUHhsaOiwsN1bFehKuIRNxQumXkF4zGCGqE_9ZcAQDsI2aLGZrP3yFq6c7/s400/Inside+Out.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
After a raft of middling-to-good sequels like Monsters University and original films like Brave that didn't quite live up to expectations, Pixar finally returned to their usual level of quality with Inside Out. Maybe a little too clever for kids, you certainly have to admire their guts in putting a character struggling with depression in a children's movie. One of the most emotionally complex and rewarding animated films we've seen in some time. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>EX MACHINA</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1i-tXcte85eDupSVucHc5PPQOjLkQor10OBwYdlgZrcEJztOYN-uLHPY90IUcvj8vONzwKdjVti7836YEjvDz7xwL84nDSkHobaHIDPF7r_fUIKnq54xSJl09qAS2hc3kfJ2TUpKYtbYg/s1600/Ex+Machina.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1i-tXcte85eDupSVucHc5PPQOjLkQor10OBwYdlgZrcEJztOYN-uLHPY90IUcvj8vONzwKdjVti7836YEjvDz7xwL84nDSkHobaHIDPF7r_fUIKnq54xSJl09qAS2hc3kfJ2TUpKYtbYg/s400/Ex+Machina.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The best pure SF film of year, Ex Machina proves that complex, talky, thoughtful science fiction still has a place at the multiplex. Its dissection of tech-bro culture, the complicated implications of beautiful female robots, and the risks and rewards inherent in the idea of artificial intelligence add up to a film that practically demands multiple viewings. Alicia Vikander kicked off a remarkable year with a star-making turn here, and it would be great if she could join her co-stars Oscar Isaac and Domhnall Gleeson in a future Star Wars film. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>SONG OF THE SEA</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNrrfZzw6bPskEOjQEurxR4c5Ul50qC1GpS0PW6_5hwOQWA0abUNJSRmFhyJWtXQgQoA9WGPSy6IzAzBSOt0O_v7Hxf8MOwSz2AOpRB4CA9eeZzhdyLOx46cpeBfv9m6QDkDu_l3T9LAtw/s1600/Song+Of+The+Sea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNrrfZzw6bPskEOjQEurxR4c5Ul50qC1GpS0PW6_5hwOQWA0abUNJSRmFhyJWtXQgQoA9WGPSy6IzAzBSOt0O_v7Hxf8MOwSz2AOpRB4CA9eeZzhdyLOx46cpeBfv9m6QDkDu_l3T9LAtw/s400/Song+Of+The+Sea.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Without question the most staggeringly gorgeous film released this year, Song Of The Sea confirms Cartoon Saloon as the Irish equivalent of Studio Ghibli. Weaving Celtic mythology amid a story of a young girl growing up and finding her true identity, it's really quite hard to overstate how stunning this film is to look at. It should have won the 2015 animated feature Oscar. Yes, it's better than The LEGO movie. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE WINNERS - MAD MAX: FURY ROAD & STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS</b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSMkNDN142jn12GNxJbhn16onTGFpNAMyI0GOtWVKCCmT0UJADqvs_qqB-zLSJDvTl5jWjYW8pXW9O-XvGTF3iFllW_6Q-Yl4D0borpxwG8JsBZQzA2cjxDEQHxHwC2tJOsi70PtT7yFB/s1600/Mad+Max.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSMkNDN142jn12GNxJbhn16onTGFpNAMyI0GOtWVKCCmT0UJADqvs_qqB-zLSJDvTl5jWjYW8pXW9O-XvGTF3iFllW_6Q-Yl4D0borpxwG8JsBZQzA2cjxDEQHxHwC2tJOsi70PtT7yFB/s400/Mad+Max.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHbVZaJvfFK2eZ6MA1XRzESaAqdVHtWXpEbdBQP0v-QOFvVf0qHTrVbmpvmrnx5_zZqk9CrFldblzOgMI486rupd1HtdfTHxcN5FvYLnbKJKMDCZ0MQ0f_YTZqR2ygtUAQliZqtPkRhoiM/s1600/Star+Wars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHbVZaJvfFK2eZ6MA1XRzESaAqdVHtWXpEbdBQP0v-QOFvVf0qHTrVbmpvmrnx5_zZqk9CrFldblzOgMI486rupd1HtdfTHxcN5FvYLnbKJKMDCZ0MQ0f_YTZqR2ygtUAQliZqtPkRhoiM/s400/Star+Wars.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
This one is a cheat, I freely admit, but I just can't choose between them. If forced to, I might give the edge slightly to Star Wars, largely by virtue of being a really good Star Wars movie in a world where it looked very unlikely that there would be any more good Star Wars movies. And it was wonderful - it feels like Star Wars like nothing else has for a very long time, and with a certain moment involving a blue lightsaber at the climax, it's safe to say the old magic is back. The fact that a new generation's heroes are a black man and a woman is a truly wonderful thing, as well, bringing some long-overdue diversity to the Galaxy Far, Far Away.<br />
<br />
But where The Force Awakens was a loving, nostalgia-drenched return to a world we've loved for nearly 40 years now, Fury Road took a much different, bolder approach. Eschewing continuity and chronology altogether, George Miller's magnum opus is post-apocalyptic science fiction as epic myth, where the films and characters don't match up or make much sense when considered together, but still manage to resonate as these kinds of stories are meant to.<br />
<br />
I'm a devoted Star Wars fan, but I had no such fondness for the Mad Max franchise. The Road Warrior is an excellent film, but I wouldn't have said I was a fan of Max. But Fury Road, with its turbo-charged, unbelievably ludicrous action sequences, surprising narrative weight and magnificent feminist hero Furiosa, is simply one of the greatest action films ever made, and will be considered a classic in the years to come.The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-26712883149870859212015-12-18T12:00:00.003+00:002015-12-18T12:00:54.676+00:00Musings on Star Wars<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9xDkHPrQM9QwYkkCFijLTDCKwaNx_Ya8jhEPi_5u1GLmY3ZFuKnd5mDN3vDa-KtcJYF1ZTT_m7fEijW3vnlY6EHJ4oWDWyrwv88WLaFVfO0A3cY88C2RAo0P1f9_kP31jIrVb3ZFxR7E0/s1600/Millennium+Falcon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9xDkHPrQM9QwYkkCFijLTDCKwaNx_Ya8jhEPi_5u1GLmY3ZFuKnd5mDN3vDa-KtcJYF1ZTT_m7fEijW3vnlY6EHJ4oWDWyrwv88WLaFVfO0A3cY88C2RAo0P1f9_kP31jIrVb3ZFxR7E0/s400/Millennium+Falcon.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Star Wars has always meant a lot to me, and I know I'm far from alone in that. I first saw the Holy Trilogy when I was six, so it's quite difficult for me to remember a time when I didn't love Star Wars. So when they announced that they were going to make more movies, I wasn't quite sure what to think. And when J.J. Abrams was confirmed as director, I was sceptical - Star Trek Into Darkness had just come out and was, honestly, a bit of a mess. I was worried he wouldn't do justice to the films I loved so much.<br />
<br />
I'm happy to report that I was completely and utterly wrong.<br />
<br />
Ever since the first teaser for The Force Awakens came out a little over a year ago, I'd been very excited. Watching that teaser for the first time, when the fanfare blares and the Falcon swoops overhead, I distinctly remember gripping my desk and trying not to squeal with joy because I was in the office and that would have been embarrassing. From the opening crawl to the climactic lightsaber battle, The Force Awakens is packed with moments like that, and it's marvellous.<br />
<br />
It has flaws, undeniably, and it doesn't reinvent the wheel or try to do anything drastically new. But the flaws are easy to forgive in light of how simply, purely entertaining it is - and that's why it doesn't matter that it feels a bit familiar. That's part of the point, arguably, and it's why "Chewie, we're home" was the closing line of the second trailer. Yes, it's familiar, because it does feel like coming home. It's a simple, uncluttered space adventure story whose main priority is to be fun, and it's a huge success.<br />
<br />
I can't speak for the experiences of new fans, but I expect they'll have a great time. And as a long-time fan, it had huge emotional payoff (I was welling up every time Binary Sunset started playing) without being dependent on nostalgia to get the job done. In truth, the only thing that can really be considered a problem is the story's overall similarity to A New Hope, but even that feels appropriate for a new beginning to the saga.<br />
<br />
The ability to nitpick a movie is insignificant next to the power of the Force. And the Force is awake.The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-28907650910723477232015-07-03T19:33:00.002+01:002015-07-03T19:33:30.648+01:00I have many questions about Terminator Genisys<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmhP1C73CYqVpL0FKk2FVhoF3vrW_dIIjZeQwx-hJo8SwrA2JSpqN9b9AGYtzZ2L_L-gla6abwLvGRS3s92gN60JyO-UsfUn9iFZsUUA4yCBItdFkWSXLDsUd8asuLdjZgCU92cD40a-3H/s1600/Arnie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmhP1C73CYqVpL0FKk2FVhoF3vrW_dIIjZeQwx-hJo8SwrA2JSpqN9b9AGYtzZ2L_L-gla6abwLvGRS3s92gN60JyO-UsfUn9iFZsUUA4yCBItdFkWSXLDsUd8asuLdjZgCU92cD40a-3H/s400/Arnie.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Terminator Genisys is not a film that makes a whole lot of sense. The time travel shenanigans spend most of the runtime spiralling out of control, and that provokes a lot of questions about just what the hell is happening. Here are a few of mine.<br />
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Who
felt the need for most of the first act to be a shot-for-shot remake
of The Terminator?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How
many different, mutually contradictory timelines are we dealing with
here? Four? Five?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How
did Kyle Reese immediately know that Old Arnie was a Terminator if
he's never encountered this model before?
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How
did Old Arnie get back to 1973? Who sent him? Why? When did they send
him from? Considering that this is the event that completely fucks
the timeline, why didn't they explain it?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How
did the T-1000 end up in 1984? Was it the same one that tried to kill
Sarah in 1973? If so, why hasn't it been hunting her all this time?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Why
do people keep casting Jai Courtney in things?<br />
<br />
Why is Kyle Reese built like a brick shithouse? Do they still have protein shakes in the post-apocalyptic future?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How
did Old Arnie and Sarah build a time machine in a garage in 1984? Did
Doc Brown help them?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Did
Terminator 2 happen any more or not? Future John says Judgment Day
was August 29th 1997, so I guess not?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I
can understand wanting to retcon Terminators 3 and 4 away, but did
Terminator 2 have to go as well? Terminator 2 was fucking awesome!</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Since
Sarah time travelled from 1984 to 2017, does that mean there's a very
confused T-1000 wandering around 1991 L.A. wondering where his
targets are?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
If
Sarah wasn't around in 1991 to blow up Cyberdyne, why was Judgment
Day delayed until 2017?
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How
does John Connor even exist in this timeline if Sarah isn't even
pregnant on the day that is supposed to be Judgment Day?
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Since
the only way to make even a little sense out of this film is to have
seen all the previous ones, why is there a lengthy prologue
explaining the backstory of the future war? We know this already!</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Matt
Smith (henceforth Doctor Skynet) had clearly infiltrated the
resistance long before the final battle, or else John would never
have taken him to the attack on the Time Displacement Chamber. That
attack must have been months in the planning. So why not just kill
John before he even launches the attack to destroy Skynet, instead of
letting him and then sending a Terminator back?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
If
letting its central core get destroyed was part of the plan somehow,
why didn't Doctor Skynet sabotage the time machine so Reese couldn't
be sent back? Did it want Sarah to be protected?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Why
do these movies keep anthropomorphising Skynet? Do they want it to be
less intimidating?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
If
Doctor Skynet wants to ensure its own creation in the "original"
timeline, why not send Evil John back to 1997, since that's when the
world ended in this timeline?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Why
the bloody hell was Evil John building a time machine in 2017? Did he
have somewhen else he needed to be?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
If
yes, why didn't Doctor Skynet just send him there in the first place?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Was
Steven Moffat a script consultant?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
What
was the point of J.K. Simmons' character? I love J.K. Simmons, and
"Terminator conspiracy theorist" is actually a pretty neat
idea, but did he actually do anything to affect the plot?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
Why
does an incomplete time machine explode when activated? Shouldn't it
just not work?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How
does the exploding time machine destroy Evil John but not Old Arnie?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Is
Old Arnie a T-1000 now? How does that work, exactly?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Are
we really meant to believe that Arnie is 6 foot 6? Come on, guys.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Why
would you try to recreate the pathos of Terminator 2's ending and
then reveal that Old Arnie managed to survive? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Why
do they destroy Doctor Skynet at the end, only for the credits
stinger to reveal he's still alive? Isn't that just admitting that
nothing of any consequence actually happened in the entire film?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Couldn't
anybody come up with a better stinger than "Oh whoops the bad
guy's not dead after all"?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Why
am I even trying to make sense of this movie?</div>
The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-54902857878981259622015-05-22T21:21:00.004+01:002015-05-22T21:50:58.977+01:00We Are Not Things: a lesson Game of Thrones needs to learn<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
*<b>MINOR MAD MAX SPOILERS WITHIN*</b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1bURu8NMGcURHTExJn4by2hFn0IqghsT5ivjn1SzMFcpkPty1w8rmtnik11KvMtXKiBmGaFBeYbX07RvTCUw9A2MwSaBtf0aLYhVmZJdQ-mNku7UEUwmmV6y0_5V3m7fXLwBk5F_H9Phr/s1600/Five+Wives.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1bURu8NMGcURHTExJn4by2hFn0IqghsT5ivjn1SzMFcpkPty1w8rmtnik11KvMtXKiBmGaFBeYbX07RvTCUw9A2MwSaBtf0aLYhVmZJdQ-mNku7UEUwmmV6y0_5V3m7fXLwBk5F_H9Phr/s400/Five+Wives.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
If you've been on the
internet in the last week, chances are pretty good that you already
know about the latest controversy surrounding <i>Game of Thrones</i>,
so I won't waste your time recounting it here. Suffice it to say
that, while I'm not yet convinced that I'm done with the show - I'd
like to see if they can salvage anything from the corner they've
written themselves into - any enthusiasm I had for it is basically
gone.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And
for me, that's heartbreaking. At the risk of being That Guy, I was a
huge fan of the books before the show started, and I can still
vividly remember the sheer glee I felt when they announced that
Charles Dance would be playing Tywin Lannister. I've met GRRM; my
copy of the first book has been signed by him; the point is, I
genuinely love this story and these characters. And yet, for the
first time in five years, I'm not looking forward to the next episode
of <i>Game of Thrones</i>.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It's
not that I have a problem with fiction including incidents of rape,
or wanting to deal with the effects and consequences of it. Nothing
should be off-limits in fiction, and exploring the darker side of
human nature is absolutely worthwhile. The problem in this case is
that <i>GoT</i> is obessed
with rape and sexual violence, and with rare exception has only ever
included them for shock value, not because it actually has anything
to say on the subject.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
You'd
think they'd have learned after that Cersei/Jaime scene last season
blew up in their faces, but apparently not - they're digging the same
hole even more enthusiastically than before. More than that,
showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss have decided to change the
source material so that characters who don't get raped in the books
do get raped on the TV show, and that's just sick. Why would you look
at great books like these and think "You know, this is really
good and all, but you know what it needs? <i>More rape</i>."</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I've
had enough. I've defended this show's female characters in the past,
writing about how their struggles against adversity are what allow
them to become great - but Benioff and Weiss don't seem to be
interested in that any more. They just seem to want to brutalise and
demean their characters without any regard for the character's arc or
how the audience is going to react. I've given <i>Game of
Thrones</i> the benefit of a lot of
doubt, and stuck with it in the hope that it might be able to learn
from its mistakes and do better, but they aren't even trying any
more. They've bought into their own reputation as the shocking show
that does horrible things to its characters, and shock value is
seemingly all that matters now. So thank you, David and Dan, for
making me look like an asshole. Much obliged.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsrqs3WFDKusMGtCVXmhdHML7rSe43Dl_I7ZTdrtXvJ93DaMOK09DXAlagxnXsWgBwRamIAyUDDuoJSyq3oR4du1zbJQakceLtupFlNptAQlgmR4BK4TWJAP1Ner4ImghBv99gdS3Dr7p_/s1600/Furiosa.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsrqs3WFDKusMGtCVXmhdHML7rSe43Dl_I7ZTdrtXvJ93DaMOK09DXAlagxnXsWgBwRamIAyUDDuoJSyq3oR4du1zbJQakceLtupFlNptAQlgmR4BK4TWJAP1Ner4ImghBv99gdS3Dr7p_/s400/Furiosa.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I
think part of what made this scene hurt so much was that I was still
on a pretty massive high from seeing <i>Mad Max: Fury Road</i>,
which deals with much the same subject matter but does so in a
tactful, respectful way that acknowledges the horror of what its
female characters have gone through while never diminishing their
agency. The Five Wives, who drive much of the plot, are rape
survivors, and the Immortan Joe, the villain, is their rapist. And
yet, there's no scene of rape in <i>Fury Road</i>.
They didn't feel the need to show us that, because it wouldn't have
benefited the story they were trying to tell.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Instead,
the very first thing we see the Wives doing is reclaiming their
agency by removing their chastity belts with bolt cutters. It's a
gesture symbolising their freedom from slavery, and their way of
saying they'll sleep with whomever they damn well please from here
on. As a man, director George Miller could easily have bungled a
story about rape survivors as he presumably has very little
experience with this sort of thing - so he hired Eve Ensler, author
of <i>The Vagina Monologues</i>,
to consult on the film and help the actresses playing the Wives with
their characters.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Miller
made the effort to ensure that his film's female characters were
treated with the respect they deserved, and that effort deserves to
be recognised. Plenty has been written about the magnificent
Imperator Furiosa - the short version is that she's up there with
Ellen Ripley and Sarah Connor on the list of all-time great action
ladies. But even though the Wives have undoubtedly been through a
horrifying ordeal in their captivity, the film doesn't dwell on it.
The performances of the actresses tell us everything we need to know:
as we're told when the Immortan first discovers they've escaped, "We
Are Not Things." They're never victimised and play a crucial
role in their own escape, and are willing to stand up to their rapist
to do so.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In
one of the film's most striking images, which is saying a lot,
Angharad puts her pregnant belly between Furiosa and the Immortan's
gun, knowing that he'll never risk hurting his unborn child. It is an
astoundingly powerful moment, showing that in spite of everything
she's gone through, Angharad actually is "Unbowed, Unbent,
Unbroken" - in contrast to the episode of <i>GoT</i>
in which Sansa was raped, which used that title in frankly revolting
irony. <i>Fury Road</i> isn't
perfect, but it still depicts women who refuse to be defined by the
horrors in their past and who are always treated as actual human
beings instead of punching bags. It makes the effort, and that counts
for a lot.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
That's
the big difference between <i>Mad Max</i>
and <i>Game of Thrones</i>.
You can have deal with difficult subjects in fiction, and you can do
it well. You just have to <i><b>fucking try</b></i>.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
All
images: Warner Bros. </div>
The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-82109707381723075672014-07-25T17:52:00.001+01:002014-07-25T19:40:21.129+01:00Let us cavort like the Greeks of old! (You know the ones I mean)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS_G8KCs2BLpZSHxWSm29-S4Jb-S-FMeUb_yZqIek2-HY0gtw222wYEOfqq-P_NnGavRddyown41Kgk7zT7kMCZRNOztTM46eGun5rIoPxYePBfiBP11eYvD7Tb4mjdC0cpxr3SQ1X_ZBS/s1600/Hercules.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS_G8KCs2BLpZSHxWSm29-S4Jb-S-FMeUb_yZqIek2-HY0gtw222wYEOfqq-P_NnGavRddyown41Kgk7zT7kMCZRNOztTM46eGun5rIoPxYePBfiBP11eYvD7Tb4mjdC0cpxr3SQ1X_ZBS/s1600/Hercules.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I saw Hercules on Wednesday, and it got me to thinking about the use of relationships in adaptations of Greek myth and history. Specifically, where are all the gay romances? Why don't any of these films have awesome gay battle couples killing their way to fame and glory?<br />
<br />
With Hercules, you'd definitely need a different director for it, because Brett Ratner isn't the sort of person you want handling a homosexual relationship. But it's still a shame, because there was such a big opportunity for it in the film. Hercules is depicted in myth as having many male lovers, but by far the most important was Iolaus, and he's actually in the film. There was a shrine to him in Thebes where male couples worshipped, and yet in the film he's recast as Herc's nephew, in the same way that Achilles and Patroclus are almost invariably "cousins." Considering how woefully under-represented gay couples are in the media, this would have been a great film to show two men in a romantic relationship.<br />
<br />
The absence of such relationships is presumably down to the same "think of the children" nonsense that's usually to blame for this sort of thing, and a desire held over from the Victorian era to try and forget about just how gay ancient Greece was. Ancient Greece was fucking <i>fabulous</i>. Granted, thinking about homosexuality in this context is wildly anachronistic, because they didn't distinguish between hetero- and homosexual partnerships in the way we do. Regardless, relationships between men were extremely common and a big part of how that society functioned, and it's very depressing that people seem to be actively trying to minimise their importance.<br />
<br />
In both Hercules and the 2004 Troy, the removal of the heroes' male lovers is presumably to draw the focus onto their relationship with a female character, which, to be fair, is an important part in the stories of Hercules and Achilles. In the movie, Hercules is motivated by the death of his wife Megara, and while the film gets the order of events pretty muddled, that was the reason the mythic Hercules undertook the Labours: to absolve himself of the blood guilt for killing his wife in a fit of god-induced madness. In Achilles' case, he's likewise motivated by the loss of his trophy girlfriend Briseis, so both these examples could be put down to wanting to streamline the narrative and focus on the characters' main motivation.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo97p6LNAso4ywPr6Ahkp34IwuFVHKa2KGAEBUWdkvLnkFSoRlpGDMIq3z8hMRjT8kXo1KgnHcRhepmmtb_NykVrA3xqCjD3CQ1gQ-hk4gRJb-6oJAGxaQVbDf_xhMXseh8b0E5btGkhCR/s1600/300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo97p6LNAso4ywPr6Ahkp34IwuFVHKa2KGAEBUWdkvLnkFSoRlpGDMIq3z8hMRjT8kXo1KgnHcRhepmmtb_NykVrA3xqCjD3CQ1gQ-hk4gRJb-6oJAGxaQVbDf_xhMXseh8b0E5btGkhCR/s1600/300.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
As with so many things, though, it's that work of dribbling, vaguely fascist claptrap 300 that's the most objectionable. I have a lot of problems with that film, but one of the worst (and most unintentionally hilarious) moments was when one of the Spartans mocked the Athenians for being "boy-lovers." Now, we know Frank Miller is a homophobic asshole, so there's that problem to begin with. More than that, though, to depict a Spartan mocking <i>anyone </i>for being gay displays a contemptible ignorance of the evidence. Even by the standards of ancient Greece, the Spartans were keen on encouraging relationships between men. It's generally believed that part of the reason the Spartan army was so unstoppable was because lovers were fighting side by side, and they wanted to protect and impress each other. The lack of self-awareness is pretty funny too, considering that the entire male cast of 300 wore nothing but leather briefs and a cape.<br />
<br />
It wouldn't have been difficult to mention that Hercules was (by modern definition) bisexual, and in the comic that film's based on, he apparently is. It just seems like yet another case of tailoring to the default straight male audience, leaving out opportunities for richer characterisation in the interests of playing it safe. Some might say that a big summer blockbuster isn't the place for gay romances, but honestly? Fuck those people. Gay relationships shouldn't be the exclusive territory of arthouse films which most people will never see, and there's no reason gay romance should be terra incognita in big summer blockbusters. These films almost invariably have a straight love interest, after all. Why not a gay one for a change?<br />
<br />
It's yet another reason for me to love Age of Bronze, because it shows Achilles and Patroclus in a caring sexual relationship. While I'd love to get more people reading that comic, it would be more expedient to have a blockbuster which everyone will go and see with that sort of romance in it. So next time you adapt Greek myth or history into film, don't leave out the gays.The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-68538754511426914442014-06-24T15:22:00.001+01:002014-06-24T15:28:13.329+01:00The Dark Knight Returns is not a good Batman story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkasOBIaY_c9ios82X-2iylNUCLDcd_BOFFpjtWwWyFS-08xcCoD4a0igtWrmc4Zc8iA56iWb5ZgE6EhyphenhyphenfVz52Wb8AfqOmibXtQxloU9LjrB49xFhG1tszDhaqnd2x7YCr-XPR-tpyQ3td/s1600/Dark+Knight+Returns.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkasOBIaY_c9ios82X-2iylNUCLDcd_BOFFpjtWwWyFS-08xcCoD4a0igtWrmc4Zc8iA56iWb5ZgE6EhyphenhyphenfVz52Wb8AfqOmibXtQxloU9LjrB49xFhG1tszDhaqnd2x7YCr-XPR-tpyQ3td/s1600/Dark+Knight+Returns.jpg" height="400" width="262" /></a></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
What
with it being Batman's 75th anniversary this year, and since it looks
very much like the upcoming Batman v Superman film is going to be
taking its cues from Frank Miller's seminal comic book, I thought I'd
take a look at it and see how it holds up. And I have to say, it
doesn't hold up well at all in my opinion. I understand that it was
hugely influential in redefining who Batman is for the modern age,
even if its dark, gritty reaction to the Adam West show stops just
short of outright begging to be taken seriously, but it just doesn't
work as a story.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
My
main problem is the depiction of Batman himself. He's almost
unrecognisable compared to what we expect him to be: sure, especially
in this post-Nolan world we expect him to be the Dark Knight, but the
Batman of this comic is little more than a thug. This is a Batman who
uses guns and kills people, and if you know the first thing about
Batman, you know that's a problem.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
He's
a hypocrite as well, which makes it even worse. There's a panel in issue #4 where he breaks a gun in half and declares it the
weapon of the enemy, and that's great stuff. He calls a gun "a
coward's weapon. A liar's weapon", and that's exactly how a man
whose parents were murdered with guns ought to act. Trouble is, it
follows on from him chasing after Two-Face while carrying a sniper
rifle, straight up shooting one of the Mutant Gang in the face, and
mowing down the rest of the gang with the Bat-tank's "rubber
bullets. Honest."
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It's
at its worst in the third issue though, where the Joker breaks out of
Arkham again, goes on a rampage, and Batman spends most of the issue
debating whether or not it's morally justifiable to kill him. This is
after the aforementioned shooting a guy in the face, by the way. In the end, he snaps the Joker's neck, but he somehow does it so precisely that
he just paralyses him. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. Funny how everyone (rightly) cried foul at Superman breaking Zod's neck in Man of Steel, but no one ever comments on this.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I
have other problems with the book, too. There really isn't any plot
to speak of, for one thing: Batman just comes back out of retirement
because Gotham is a wretched hive of scum and villainy - you know,
just like always - and eventually ends up punching Superman in an
alley because Frank Miller couldn't figure out how else to finish the
story. It's very disjointed and episodic; in the four issues, he
fights Two-Face, the Mutant Gang, the Joker and Superman, each for
one issue. Maybe it read better as single issues back in 1986, but as
one story it doesn't flow at all.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I
know there are people who like Miller's art, but I find it so
unpleasant to look at that it took me about three tries to even get
past the first issue. It's not the problem I have with Scott Pilgrim
where the style just clashes with my sensibilities, I just think the
art in DKR is ugly. Batman's showdown with the Joker looks like a DC
Comics-themed sumo fight, there's a panel in the last issue where
Superman is winking but looks more like he's having a stroke, and the
cover of issue #2 (see above) is one of these big iconic images that
I find utterly hideous. Plus, when the number of panels on the page is routinely in double figures - sometimes as many as 16! - it's time to dial it back a bit. </div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Which
brings us to the characterisation of Superman, which is somehow even
worse than that of Batman. I love Superman. He's one of the most
noble, wonderful ideas in all fiction: a man who could conquer the
world is his lunch hour and rule it with an iron fist, but who
chooses not to because of his unshakeable sense of right and wrong.
His powers aren't what make him Superman, it's the fact that he
invariably uses them to do good and help people. In his own words,
"Do good to others and every man can be a Superman."</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Miller
writes him as a minion of the US government who obeys the President's
order to go to Gotham and punch Batman to death.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The
Dark Knight Returns depicts a version of Batman and Superman, the
World's Finest Superheroes, that I just don't want to read. Batman is
an angry, psychotic thug, and Superman is a mindless government
drone. They're unlikeable, they aren't heroic, and I don't want to
read stories about these versions of the characters. It pains me that
this book altered their relationship so much, changing them from
close friends and allies to antagonistic, incompatible people who
just happen to have similar goals.</div>
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
If
you can convince me I'm wrong, by all means do. I want to see what
everyone else sees in The Dark Knight Returns, but it doesn't work
for me. For the record, Frank Miller's other Batman opus, Year One,
is a book I think more highly of every time I read it, and though
post-Sin City Miller is a raving lunatic, he did a lot of genuinely
great work in the '80s. I don't think DKR is a good comic, though,
and I'm dreading the influence it's going to have on the already
pretty grimdark DC movie universe.</div>
The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-62771357393182095822014-05-11T14:09:00.000+01:002014-05-11T14:09:18.955+01:00Rat Queens is like the funniest D&D campaign you've ever played<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwptuox1GtA6HqHTV3MCbW3r4fIug0rvWZPUUhTYmyToOv-3iwEOs8Y5Td_DfmojdqRLFpC4JZL5ij0kuRoiusVif9Ry_yO8iNJp417nC6qAWlEsryVo3mCtj3exfMNpSFoLOR07JVthjp/s1600/Rat+Queens.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwptuox1GtA6HqHTV3MCbW3r4fIug0rvWZPUUhTYmyToOv-3iwEOs8Y5Td_DfmojdqRLFpC4JZL5ij0kuRoiusVif9Ry_yO8iNJp417nC6qAWlEsryVo3mCtj3exfMNpSFoLOR07JVthjp/s1600/Rat+Queens.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but other stuff kept coming up. Anyway, a few weeks ago I finally got around to reading the first volume of Kurtis J. Wiebe and Roc Upchurch's new series Rat Queens, and it's amazing. I'd been looking forward to reading it since I first heard about it late last year, and it doesn't disappoint. It reminded me a lot of Rich Burlew's Order of the Stick, and I mean that as very high praise.<br />
<br />
The premise is simple: four twenty-something women with modern attitudes living in a Dungeons & Dragons-style fantasy world. The plot is good, and I enjoyed how it takes a sharp turn towards the end and goes somewhere completely different from what I was expecting, but it's the characters that drive the book.<br />
<br />
There's Hannah, the confrontational mage who's sort of the team's leader; Violet, the hipster fighter who's surprisingly kind-hearted once she stops killing things; Dee, the cleric who kind of stays in the background because she's not great with people (my favourite character); and Betty the thief, who reminded me a lot of Molly from Runaways in that she's basically weaponised cuteness.<br />
<br />
It's a terrific cast, and most of the book's humour comes, as it should, from the character dynamics. There is drama in this comic, but it's mostly a fantasy comedy, and it's one of the funniest comics I've read in quite a while. The Rat Queens are all foul-mouthed, hard-drinking adventurers, and they act pretty much like you'd expect people who kill monsters for a living to act. It highlights the absurdity of what these sort of people, so commonplace in D&D, would actually be like in any sort of realistic society: they don't fit in with the town at all, and are as big a threat to it as the monsters they fight.<br />
<br />
It's because these characters are so fun and so likeable that we get completed invested in them, and towards the end of the volume when the stakes get higher, Wiebe shows us it's not all laughs: he's great at comedy, but when things take a turn for the serious it's genuinely gut-wrenching. The last issue is full of lovely character beats, and is the point which cemented Dee as my favourite character for reasons I won't spoil. It's a great conclusion to the first arc.<br />
<br />
And I can't go without mentioning how refreshing it is to see a comic like this on the stands. Image are on a ridiculous winning streak these days with damn near everything they're publishing being solid gold, and a lot of their success is the drive to do something different with their books. You can't pin their output down to a single genre, and they're doing what Marvel and DC have struggled so hard with: reaching beyond the core audience.<br />
<br />
They're making books that aren't just male power fantasy, that people other than teenage boys will want to read, and Rat Queens is a perfect example. The four main characters are all female, which is depressingly rare in itself, one of them is black and one of them is gay. It is so damn gratifying to see a comic which actually puts characters other than straight white men on the page, and as the fan reaction has proved, it's been a huge hit with female readers. It shows how easy it really is to appeal to different audiences: they've made a book for the female demographic, which superhero comics have traditionally found so hard to crack, by writing great female characters. It really is that simple.<br />
<br />
Rat Queens is a real treat, and one of my favourite comics currently being published. If you want to read a comic that actually gets women right, go and buy it right now.The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-92087863510614026532014-04-18T12:16:00.000+01:002014-04-18T12:16:17.088+01:00Can we stop calling them graphic novels?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIA78n03PNC730ROLuswaMRvRCCeD16-m8MrszTeXHvS0rCpSrmZtbEN_qLrIFKo8-iGjwMyU9HM3RMIUC2Nm8GP-4e3wTyXgMJdfflomplVWBqugElX_F53EQtrH63km_lMOmZ0MTKbLl/s1600/Rorschach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIA78n03PNC730ROLuswaMRvRCCeD16-m8MrszTeXHvS0rCpSrmZtbEN_qLrIFKo8-iGjwMyU9HM3RMIUC2Nm8GP-4e3wTyXgMJdfflomplVWBqugElX_F53EQtrH63km_lMOmZ0MTKbLl/s1600/Rorschach.jpg" height="250" width="400" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
The term 'graphic novel' has long been a pet peeve of mine, and for some reason it's come back into mind lately; probably something came up on my Facebook feed. In any case, it's a term that really bugs me, and I thought I'd talk about it a bit here. Calling them graphic novels is pretentious, it's unnecessary, and it's symptomatic of the comics medium's inferiority complex. Let's just keep calling them comics.<br />
<br />
As far as I know, people first started talking about graphic novels when Watchmen first got collected into a single volume, presumably because DC realised that it was too good to let it go out of print and because there was a lot of money to be made from selling it in conventional bookshops. I love Watchmen as much as the next person, and the comics medium's desire to be taken seriously and accorded the literary merit it deserves is admirable, but appropriating terminology from other media isn't the way to go about it.<br />
<br />
To me, 'graphic novel' just comes across as a bit condescending, as if comics aren't good enough in themselves and so have to borrow another, more respectable medium's name before they can be treated with the same respect as traditional literature. Admittedly, there are many cases where it is a fairly appropriate description, but even in those cases I simply don't see what's wrong with calling them comics, because that is fundamentally what they are.<br />
<br />
When a comic is conceived of, written and published as a single, reasonably long volume, in the same way that a novel is, then it is fair enough to refer to it as a graphic novel, even if my aforementioned issues with the expression still stand. For instance, Blue is the Warmest Colour is a graphic novel, and Hellblazer: All His Engines is a graphic novel. There are certainly advantages to be had in writing and publishing your work in a single, novel-length work rather than serialised in periodicals, and there have been no shortage of great books in that format. The authors arguably have greater creative control, aren't constrained by page limits, and don't have to worry about deadlines. I've no issue with the format, I just think the terminology is a bit pretentious.<br />
<br />
The real problem for me is that, nine times out of ten, when people say 'graphic novel' they mean 'trade paperback,' and while the terms are almost always used interchangeably, they ought to mean completely different things. Most of the time when people refer to graphic novels, they're talking about collected editions of monthly comics, in which several issues have been put in one book for convenience, ease of reading, and so that it can be sold in traditional bookshops. <br />
<br />
Again, I've no issue with the trade paperback format. I don't buy single issues because the trade is usually cheaper and doesn't have adverts in it, and the fact that comics are being collected and preserved in this manner is a wonderful thing for the medium. Most writers tend to write for the trade these days anyway; it's pretty rare that you'll come across a single issue that actually works as a standalone story rather than as a chapter in a bigger, ongoing narrative. But this is where we come to the real crux of my problem with graphic novels.<br />
<br />
Putting six issues of a monthly comic into one book doesn't make a novel any more than putting six episodes of a TV show on one disc makes a film. <br />
<br />
The 12 issues of Watchmen may tell a single story that was clearly planned from the beginning as such, but that doesn't make it a novel. The 8 episodes of True Detective's first season also tell a single story that was clearly planned from the beginning as such, but no one in their right mind would refer to it as a film.<br />
<br />
Like I said, it's a symptom of the medium's inferiority complex. It's a pretty old medium at this point, but given that its development as an art form was arguably set back at least 20 years by the Comics Code Authority, comics as a medium still has a reputation as being for kids, as unfair and undeserved as that stigma might be. It's simply a case of a relatively young medium borrowing terminology from an older, more respected medium to describe something that is uniquely its own, and doing itself a disservice in the process. It's implying that the comics medium is somehow inferior to the novel medium, which just isn't true. Neither is superior to the other, they're just different.<br />
<br />
So there we are. While there are cases where 'graphic novel' is a pretty accurate description of a comic, for the most part the term is condescending, not applicable to the format, and a statement that comics aren't as good as prose.<br />
<div>
<br />
And that's just a bit rubbish, isn't it?</div>
The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-40230593463487916662014-04-04T13:50:00.000+01:002014-04-04T13:50:59.818+01:00Is A Song of Ice and Fire going to collapse under its own weight?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Before I anger the legions of fans, let me first assert that I am absolutely one of them. I've been a die-hard fan of the series for years, I vividly remember losing my mind when it was announced that Charles Dance was going to play Tywin Lannister in the TV show, and my old, battered copy of A Game of Thrones has been signed by GRRM.<br />
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But, I worry that the series is going the way of The Wheel of Time, and I don't mean I'm worried that Martin is going to die before he finishes it. (It's not impossible, but he seems to be in very good health by all accounts.) I mean that it's been going for nearly twenty years and there's still no ending in sight. It was initially conceived as a trilogy and is now projected to run to seven books, though Martin hasn't ruled out the option of extending it even further. It's alarmingly reminiscent of what happened with Robert Jordan's series, originally meant to be six books but bloating to 14 by the time it finished. <br />
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For the record, I think The Wheel of Time is <a href="http://dreadpiraterobertsharry.blogspot.co.uk/2010/12/eye-of-world-or-fellowship-of-wheel-of.html">vastly inferior</a> to A Song of Ice and Fire for any number of reasons which I won't get into here. Yes, I know it's meant to get better as it goes, but the first 800-page tome bored me almost to tears and didn't exactly inspire me to read 13 more of the damn things. A Game of Thrones, on the other hand, was gripping from start to finish and ended on a cliffhanger which almost physically compelled me to rush out and buy A Clash of Kings. And A Storm of Swords (both parts). And A Feast for Crows. And then, eventually, A Dance with Dragons.<br />
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As great as Martin's story is, the unfortunate truth is that a story is only really satisfying once it's ended. And as much as I love Ice and Fire – and I love it dearly; it's possibly my favourite series of novels – it's no closer to ending than it was when the first book was published back in 1996. The story's scope and scale, one of the things I most admire about it, has simply got out of control. <br />
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In the first book, there are (I think) eight point-of-view characters, and four storylines: the Wall, Winterfell, King's Landing, and Dany. As of book five, there have been somewhere in excess of 20 POV characters, and even if several of those have been immediately doomed prologue or epilogue characters, it's spread the story too wide. Four storylines is a lot to keep track of in itself, and I don't even know how many are going on simultaneously now. To quote that most famous of fantasy novels, it feels thin, stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. <br />
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Feast and Dance were by no means bad books, even if Feast did suffer from missing almost all the best characters, but there's no denying that not an awful lot actually happens in them. Yes, Dance ends brilliantly, and the last quarter really picks up the pace and starts delivering on the sort of excitement that was present all the way through Storm, but it takes a hell of a long time to get there.<br />
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As much as I hate to say it, at this point we almost need another couple of Red Wedding-style bloodbaths to thin the ranks of the characters and bring some focus back to the story. The intricacy of Dance's plotting and the skill that must have gone into constructing and editing it are nothing short of staggering, but at this point the story is simply too big and spread over too wide a space. There are too many characters, is the bottom line, and as much as I love them – writing believable characters is one of Martin's greatest talents as a writer, and to my mind the main reason the series has become so wildly popular since the TV show – he really needs to kill some of them off.<br />
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And I have no doubt that killing characters off is well within Martin's abilities. If The Winds of Winter is as bleak as its title suggests it will be, maybe the story will be back on track by the time A Dream of Spring comes out. I just hope it doesn't take Martin six years to finish it.The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-8670709443135763542014-03-28T10:52:00.000+00:002014-03-28T10:52:53.419+00:00Iain M. Banks' The Algebraist, ten years on<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am a big fan of Iain M. Banks' SF. I've read all the Culture books, apart from The State of the Art and Inversions if you consider that to be Culture; I'm of the opinion that he's one of if not the best British SF author of the past 25 years; and Use of Weapons ranks among my very favourite novels, horrifyingly disturbing though it is.<br />
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It's for this reason that I'm always slightly puzzled by the relative lack of awards he received for his SF. Specifically, the only time he was even nominated for a Hugo, arguably the most prestigious award in the field of SF and fantasy, was for his 2004 non-Culture novel The Algebraist. It's been ten years since its publication, almost a year since he tragically passed away, and we're coming up to the 2014 Worldcon at which he was going to be a guest of honour, so I thought it seemed like a good time for a look back at this book.<br />
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First off, I really enjoy The Algebraist, but I am confused about why, of all Banks' SF, this is the one that was nominated for a Hugo rather than Use of Weapons or Excession. Perhaps it was the fact that he hadn't written SF for four years by the time it came out and the anticipation contributed to its success, and it could very well be that it's one of his most purely entertaining, crowd-pleasing books. It probably is one of my favourites of his, but that doesn't mean it's one of his best. Still, it's spectacularly entertaining space opera, a thrilling adventure story which I would strongly recommend. It deserves to be read, especially since it tends to be overshadowed by the Culture.<br />
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It's largely in the world building that both its biggest successes and biggest flaws lie. Most of the action happens in the gas giant Nasqueron, where our protagonist Fassin Taak has been sent, and the construction of the civilisation within the gas giant is extremely impressive. The resident Dwellers are a Slow species, for whom entire human lifetimes can occur in the space of a lazy afternoon, and the bizarre ways they carry out their lives are never less than amusing. For me at least, there's an aura of mystery about gas giants anyway, and the extended journey Fassin undergoes while travelling through Nasqueron makes for a great space adventure story.<br />
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This could be another contributing factor to the wide appeal necessary for a Hugo nomination. It's probably the most conventional space opera Banks wrote, without meaning that as a criticism, in that it follows a protagonist experiencing a fairly traditional Hero's Journey to try and save his home from being destroyed in war. The framework of the story is rather familiar even if the details are not, and it could be that the resonances these kinds of stories have for so many people are what caused its success.<br />
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That said, the world building of the broader galactic community does get a bit out of hand. The Algebraist is a long book, and could have done with a rather more rigorous edit: all the details of the greater civilisation are interesting and well drawn, but they tend to arrive in the form of infodumps a bit too often, breaking the flow of the story somewhat. I suspect this is because the novel isn't part of Banks' already well-established Culture series, and so he was keen to mark out the differences between the two universes. <br />
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It's not necessarily a great novel, but it is a great read. It may not be top-tier Banks, but even at his lower ebbs his SF is of such a high standard that it's easy to recommend to anyone who's a fan of the genre. For those who aren't yet initiated, they're probably better off starting with the Culture before moving on to this relatively dense work. Still, if you read SF for escapism and want a cracking, thoroughly entertaining space opera, I can unreservedly recommend The Algebraist. Read it, and remember one of the genre's true masters, taken from us far too early.The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-6749421469304544632014-03-14T12:19:00.000+00:002014-03-15T13:01:09.309+00:00Remembering Hellblazer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hellblazer, after running for 25 years and 300 issues, making it the longest-running comic at either DC or Marvel to have never been cancelled or rebooted, was cancelled a little over a year ago. Because of that, and because of the fact that more details about the upcoming TV series have been emerging lately, I thought it was a good time to express my views on one of my very favourite comic books. <br />
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I don't object to its cancellation in itself, even if it is weird to mark the Vertigo imprint's 20th anniversary by cancelling its flagship title. 300 issues is a lot, most of them were good to great, and it was definitely better to end on a high rather than drag it out and potentially squander what had been good about it. Plus, given that John Constantine ages in real-time, even if his ageing is slowed down somewhat by his demon blood, he was still 60 years old when Hellblazer ended, and it was probably time to hang up the trenchcoat. Death and Cigarettes, the final story, may not have been one of the all-time classics, but it was still a great one and a very fitting end to the series.<br />
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I do object, however, to the fact that Hellblazer, one of the most important comic books in recent memory and Vertigo's longest running book, was cancelled so that John could be rebooted and brought into the DC Universe – especially since the New 52 is, by and large, awful. Yes, he originated in the DCU in the pages of Swamp Thing, but even back then those characters were more or less cordoned off from the wider universe. Hell, John considered the Crisis on Infinite Earth to be basically a sideshow to the return of the Original Darkness, the great threat that he and the Swamp Thing faced together.<br />
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Even if we leave aside the problematic, One More Day-esque erasure of 25 years of character development, it doesn't make sense from a business perspective or from a creative one: cancelling a big-selling horror comic in order to put John in what basically amounts to yet another superhero comic. They risk losing the dedicated Vertigo readers who might not be interested in superheroes, as well as losing all the actually mature (as opposed to the New 52's superficially mature) content, urban fantasy and social commentary that made Hellblazer so special. I'm told the current Constantine title isn't all that bad, but I'm of the opinion that John simply doesn't belong in a superhero universe. There was an issue of his current title when he had a run-in with Captain Marvel (I refuse to call him Shazam) and ended up stealing his powers, which pretty much sums up my problem with that comic. <br />
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Hellblazer's colours were revealed as early as its third issue, a bitter satire of stockbrokers and yuppies in the Margaret Thatcher era. And there's the rub: what made this comic so interesting and unique was that, even with the presence of magic, zombies and demons, it was clearly taking place in our world, and the themes and subject matter reflected this. John was a magician, but he was still just an ordinary working-class man from Liverpool, and tended to use wits to con his enemies far more than he actually used magic against them. The story Pandemonium, written to commemorate the 25th anniversary of John's first appearance in the pages of Swamp Thing, epitomises this: it's a brilliant, savagely angry condemnation of the Iraq War in which John thwarts the demon Nergal's plans by winning a game of poker. It encapsulates everything important about Hellblazer, and it's one of my favourite Constantine stories.<br />
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The current situation is kind of ironic in a slightly depressing way. DC has basically returned its superhero comics to the mindset of the '90s, and dragged John down into it as well, whereas the actual '90s, when superhero comics were in the toilet, was Hellblazer's heyday. That was Vertigo's golden age, Hellblazer was the flagship, and it remained the flagship for the next 20 years. It just depresses me that such a great, important comic book has been replaced by another disposable superhero title. <br />
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I guess we just have to hope that the TV series will do the character justice. And if nothing else, they've nailed John's look perfectly: I'm pretty sure the only way to get someone who looks more like him would've been to go back in time to 1988 and actually cast Sting.<br />
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Seriously, credit where it's due: this guy is John Constantine. Well done, NBC. There's talk of him not being allowed to smoke in the show, which would be irritating. Apart from the cigarettes being as indelible a visual aspect of the character as Superman's cape, they're a constant reminder of John's addictive, self-destructive personality, and one of the classic stories, Dangerous Habits, couldn't exist without his smoking addiction. Still, I'm allowing myself to be cautiously optimistic about this TV show. It can hardly be worse than the Keanu Reeves movie, at any rate.</div>
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The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-3622185923247865452014-03-07T13:02:00.000+00:002014-03-07T13:02:52.101+00:00The Cthulhu Contradiction<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As a follow-up to my piece about <a href="http://dreadpiraterobertsharry.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/call-of-cthulhu-crackd-and-crookd-manse.html">The Crack'd and Crook'd Manse</a>, the Call of Cthulhu game I played a few weeks ago, I thought I'd write a more detailed post on my general thoughts about the system, and specifically, the big part of the game that just doesn't make sense.<br />
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First things first: I really like Call of Cthulhu. Mechanically it's very similar to Dungeons & Dragons, albeit with percentage dice rather than a d20 as the main ones you use, and the character stats and skills work in much the same way as their D&D equivalents. The big difference in terms of gameplay is that there's a lot less faffing about with the combat, which is a very nice change. Tabletop RPG combat can easily end up being dreary and tiresome, especially in D&D 4th Edition where you spend most of the time flicking through sourcebooks trying to remember what all your abilities do, but Cthulhu's is simple, fast, and often extremely tense because fights tend to be pretty difficult. <br />
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Naturally, the biggest draw with Call of Cthulhu is the one present in the name: the fact that it's a horror game based on the fiction of H.P. Lovecraft, arguably the most important horror writer of the 20th Century – and it's in the horror where the system really shines. As I detailed in my last post on the game, it's very easy for things to go spectacularly wrong very quickly, and character death is an omnipresent worry – in the foreword to the famous campaign Masks of Nyarlathotep, which I really want to play, the author outright tells you that the characters are unlikely to survive to the end. It's a really nice change from being the heroic adventurers of D&D where success is assumed: here, you're just ordinary people up against forces so overwhelming and otherworldly as to be practically inconceivable, and failure is a very real possibility. <br />
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Unfortunately, though, there is a serious contradiction inherent in the idea of merging a tabletop RPG and the Cthulhu Mythos. By their very nature, RPGs are founded in mathematics, because there need to be defined rules for how the game works or things would go off the rails even more quickly than they usually do. Numbers are the most concrete, logical means of understanding the universe that we have – there's a reason you can't do physics without doing a hell of a lot of maths as well. The problem with that is that the fiction of the Cthulhu Mythos is defined by its incomprehensibility and illogicality: what makes the monsters of the Mythos frightening is that their natures and motives are simply beyond human understanding, and their physical appearance is often beyond the ability to describe. <br />
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In the story from which Call of Cthulhu takes its name, we have no idea what Cthulhu is, where he's from, what he's doing, or why he's doing it. That is what makes him frightening. In the game itself, Cthulhu is defined by numbers and statistics: his motives may still be vague, but the GM knows precisely what he is in game terms. Even though he regenerates them, the very concept of hit points, that most crucial of role-playing concepts, is antithetical to the Mythos; the idea that these cosmic abominations will die if you do precisely this much damage to them is profoundly problematic in terms of what makes Lovecraft's fiction so compelling. <br />
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Let me stress that it doesn't make the game any less fun, and I'm certainly not trying to put forward a solution. For me, this paradox is pretty much insoluble, because tabletop RPGs are and always have been grounded in maths. It's just one of those irritating things that stick in the back of your mind, and I thought it was an interesting point about the game. It's not as if I would want to change the way things are: Call of Cthulhu is a fantastic game, and if this contradiction is necessary for us to be able to play it, then so be it. But still, it would be interesting to see if anyone could design a game which doesn't run counter to one of the most fundamental tenets of the Cthulhu Mythos.The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-40173483142259824462014-02-28T09:57:00.000+00:002014-02-28T09:58:13.232+00:00The Iron Dragon's Daughter is exactly what a fantasy novel should be<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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While on holiday in New York last summer I managed to track down this small, quirky little bookshop called Singularity & Co. Inside was something close to Paradise for me: it specialises in old, out-of-print, vintage SF and fantasy. I could happily have spent hours browsing the shelves, but time was pressing and we wanted to go and get a drink at the Gotham City Lounge (it was a nerdy day). Still, I couldn't bear to leave without picking something up, and I happened across a battered copy of a book called The Iron Dragon's Daughter. I'd heard good things about it, but it didn't exactly seem like a well-known or particularly noteworthy book from what I knew. Still, it was in the 'Staff Recommendations' section, and for $5, what could be the harm?<br />
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And my goodness, if it didn't turn out to be the best fantasy novel I'd read in an awfully long time – probably since I finished A Dance With Dragons back in 2011, to be honest. And the reason why is very simple. It is purely and unashamedly a fantasy.<br />
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Well of course it is, I hear you say. But wait, I say, hear me out. As much as I like Tolkien, and I like Tolkien a lot, it's always bothered me that the vast majority of fantasy fiction basically exists to rip off The Lord of the Rings. The fact that the phrase 'generic fantasy' can be uttered without irony is a depressing indictment of the general state of the genre. Fantasy, like its sibling SF, should be a playground for the author's imagination, where they can cut loose with all the crazy, out-there concepts that you can't get away with in literary fiction. It's the entire reason people read fantasy in the first place, and yet so few authors actually make the most of this opportunity.<br />
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The Iron Dragon's Daughter is quite possibly the most imaginative fantasy novel I've ever read, simply because author Michael Swanwick never insults the reader's intelligence by worrying that a particular element might somehow be too fantastical. He isn't concerned that the reader will struggle to suspend disbelief, because if you're reading a fantasy novel that shouldn't ever be a problem. The novel takes place in a fantasy world featuring all the races you'd expect – elves, dwarves, gnomes et al – but loads of others as well, chief among them the changeling protagonist Jane, who appears to have been stolen from our world and brought to this dark, twisted version of Faerie. <br />
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The oppressive elven rulers force the poorer children to work in factories, building the steam-powered iron dragons which function as the elves' fighter jets. The plot later shifts to a great city, changing gears from an almost Dickensian beginning to an urban fantasy setting in a determinedly high fantasy world. In the city, Jane learns alchemy, cheats at her exams by practising quicker, easier sex magic, takes fantastic spins on various drugs, has a nightmarish, prophetic vision of her future, and takes part in a riot that is viciously put down by elves riding mechanical horses. It is utterly bananas, and that's what makes it so brilliant. <br />
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I've never read anything else like it, and surely one of the aims of writing a fantasy novel is to be able to elicit this sense of awe and wonder from the reader: to open to them a completely new, unfamiliar world where anything could happen, and where you don't just regurgitate the plot of The Lord of the Rings for the umpteenth bloody time. In this regard alone, The Iron Dragon's Daughter is one of the finest fantasy novels I've read, and that's not even getting into the other stuff. I could write a whole other post about the broken, heroic, utterly convincing female protagonist, in a genre too dominated by male authors and characters. Or the Iron Dragon of the title, one of the most frighteningly amoral, self-serving, genuinely menacing dragons since Smaug – and that's before he decides to have a go at committing genocide. <br />
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It's a mad book, but if you want to see what fantasy can be when the author really lets their imagination run wild, I can hardly think of a better example.</div>
The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-41253505647464289922014-02-21T12:53:00.000+00:002014-02-21T12:53:25.375+00:00Move over, Avengers, here come the A-holes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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On the off chance that you didn't see it, the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTZ2Tp9yXyM">first trailer</a> for Guardians of the Galaxy is now online, and I find myself in the unexpected position of having to rank it as probably my most anticipated movie of the summer. When it was announced, my only thought was “The Who of the What?” I read comics, and I'd never heard of these guys. If Thor was a risk, I can only imagine what Guardians represents for Marvel Studios. <br />
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What I'm most excited about is that it isn't a superhero movie. Rather, it's a huge, crazy space opera with a ragtag team of misfits at its core, which is a pretty big departure from Marvel's usual fare. Even by the standards already set by these films, it looks like it's going to be utterly insane. Talking trees, blue and green alien girls, a genetically enhanced warrior raccoon, a bar which is the disembodied head of a giant space monster: this is the sort of thing that an epic space adventure should be made of. <br />
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It's a gamble, but if it works, it could represent a huge shift in how Marvel Studios and Warner Bros approach comic book adaptations. Hopefully, it'll mean they'll have more confidence in non-superhero properties, and encourage them to adapt the more obscure, interesting, out-there concepts that might be more entertaining than a superhero saving the world yet again. <br />
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My big hope is that, if it works, Warner Bros will officially start production on Guillermo del Toro's Dark Universe project: a team-up movie between DC Vertigo's magic-themed characters, such as the Swamp Thing, John Constantine, Zatanna and Deadman. Their business strategy at the moment basically amounts to copying whatever Marvel's currently doing, and Groot even looks a bit like the Swamp Thing. The hypothetical prospect of this movie is pretty much the stuff of my wildest geek dreams, providing it turns out good. In the same way that the Avengers seems to have prompted them to turn the Man of Steel sequel into a Justice League movie in all but name, the hopeful success of Guardians of the Galaxy might prompt them to take a chance on one of their less-known, non-superhero teams. It's unlikely, especially with the Constantine TV show currently in production, but the possibility exists. <br />
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Apart from anything else, it's only a matter of time before both studios start running out of superheroes to adapt, and Marvel are already scraping the barrel a bit with Ant-Man. We urgently need Black Panther, Black Widow and Captain Marvel movies to balance out the overwhelming white dudeness of the Avengers, but what happens after that? For both DC and Marvel, turning to their more obscure titles could very well be the answer, and the Vertigo characters are some of the richest and most deserving of film adaptations out there. No, Keanu Reeves' Constantine doesn't count, it was terrible. <br />
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This is all speculation, though. Blind hope on my part, in all honesty. For now, all that matters is that what looks to be an incredibly awesome space opera from the same guys who made the Avengers is on the immediate horizon – and for someone who loves space opera as much as I do, that is extremely fucking exciting. <br />
<br />
Plus, if Guardians does well, it would give Marvel more of a reason to put Runaways into production for Phase Four. Wouldn't that be something?The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-69054423183095796782014-02-17T12:56:00.002+00:002014-02-17T12:58:34.478+00:00Call of Cthulhu: The Crack'd and Crook'd Manse<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHRkaWYp8EyzrcKI6q-lQxZDCiAJEeudMxBxGWSArNN4VulC2xhYSyyX3-KgFcZHyoxP9D2ttqhVTM39OqcrAyd3Nu3rHm646fC_wHJMhJQVAZl6DXyT4-Mc_Rp8qSJXj7C5B_DUWoXmeP/s1600/Shub-Niggurath.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHRkaWYp8EyzrcKI6q-lQxZDCiAJEeudMxBxGWSArNN4VulC2xhYSyyX3-KgFcZHyoxP9D2ttqhVTM39OqcrAyd3Nu3rHm646fC_wHJMhJQVAZl6DXyT4-Mc_Rp8qSJXj7C5B_DUWoXmeP/s1600/Shub-Niggurath.jpg" height="400" width="290" /></a></div>
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So I spent most of Sunday, the first really nice day in quite a while, cooped up in a darkened room, sitting around a table and rolling dice. It was awesome. I always forget how much I miss playing RPGs until I actually sit down and play one. Call of Cthulhu is a brilliant game, despite the big paradox right at its foundation - which I intend to write about at a later date.</div>
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For the moment, I just feel like talking about the adventure we played on Sunday, titled The Crack'd and Crook'd Manse. Of the five Call of Cthulhu adventures I've played, I think this is the one I enjoyed the most, and weirdly, it's because we all almost died. The threat of death is a pretty constant companion in Cthulhu, and I remain honestly amazed that the entire party got out of this particular haunted house alive. </div>
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It started out as you might expect for a Cthulhu game: a missing person and associated mystery, talking to people and reading through the records to try and learn more about them, before heading off to their house to properly get the investigation underway. First great thing: a real sense of creeping dread. The garden was completely overgrown, and the plants kept shifting as we walked through it, knocking Big Callum on the head and tripping Thea over. It was very weird, which, for a game based on weird fiction, is important. Second great thing: mishaps, injuries, and unexpected apparitions in the house, keeping us nervy and on our toes.</div>
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It was the finale that cemented this as my favourite Cthulhu game to date, though. The cosmic abomination <i>du jour</i> was, we were later informed, the spawn of Shub-Niggurath, which when it eventually appeared looked like a giant amoeba. Big, sentient pile of ooze with grasping pseudopods. Unpleasant. Responsible for the overgrown garden and decayed, rotting house. By this point, Josh's character - earlier incapacitated with a broken leg - had vanished, taken by the creature, and it had blocked the rest of the party's attempt to get downstairs. </div>
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It was at this point, with Josh gone, the creature's pseudopods dragging Stassy away, and the rest of us fleeing up the stairs while flinging salt (its weakness) at it, seemingly achieving nothing but pissing it off, that the panic set in. It was a very tough battle, and in that moment I genuinely thought a total party kill was on the cards. Things only got worse from there - the creature latched onto my character's face, guns had as good as no effect on it, and Thea abandoned us by jumping out the window to escape. Eventually, once I'd got free, Big Callum, Stassy and I did the same - which resulted in me being horrifically injured and reduced to -1 hit points. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Before everyone ran away, they decided to just throw everything we had at the creature in one last, desperate attack. Miraculously, this was enough to kill it, meaning Stassy, Big Callum and Thea were able to rescue Josh and stabilise me. </div>
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I couldn't believe no one had died, even if I was only just barely alive. It's the only time in a tabletop RPG where I've actually feared for a party wipe, and in Call of Cthulhu, that's a great feeling. It's a cosmic horror game, it should be tense, dramatic and frightening. It was a great adventure - even though my character may still be in the hospital by the time we play another one.</div>
<br />The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-77947378286274810932014-02-13T11:08:00.000+00:002014-02-28T13:34:56.171+00:00My thoughts on The Lions of Al-Rassan<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxiZVRRsdlq9uwzQ8K5pbCE6H8lIk7rzvQFhNWqzHV5YMlhoNw0ETPF0DXZ39nqpAYkh67KKPmc0k2sdTwcpGUxxVfeuS5WRWEV2S41SSoLLJN9skIvLZ4gudD15mw1yxFMESBKo6__zBS/s1600/El+Cid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxiZVRRsdlq9uwzQ8K5pbCE6H8lIk7rzvQFhNWqzHV5YMlhoNw0ETPF0DXZ39nqpAYkh67KKPmc0k2sdTwcpGUxxVfeuS5WRWEV2S41SSoLLJN9skIvLZ4gudD15mw1yxFMESBKo6__zBS/s1600/El+Cid.jpg" height="400" width="312" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I don't really know how to classify this book apart from calling it historical fantasy. The setting, its geography and the broad strokes of the story are based on historical events; but the names and details are changed and the characters are largely fictional, as is much of the plot. The author, Guy Gavriel Kay, does this in most of his books, in this case basing the novel on Medieval Spain and one of the principal characters on El Cid. I can sort of see why people might have a problem with basing a fantasy world so explicitly on a real-world nation, but I actually really like it. All fantasy nations are based on historical ones at least to some extent – the Rohirrim are Vikings, the Dothraki are Mongols and so on – and the way I see it, all Kay is doing here is making better use of the history than most.</div>
<br />
It allows for some wonderful meditations on real-world problems as well. This fictional Spain is divided among Jaddites (Christians) in the three northern kingdoms of Esperana, Asharites (Muslims) ruling most of the peninsula in the country called Al-Rassan, and the wandering Kindath (Jews) living as subjects on both sides. The main characters are the Jaddites Rodrigo Belmonte – loosely based on El Cid – and Alvar de Pellino; the Kindath physician Jehane bet Ishak; and the Asharite poet/diplomat/soldier Ammar ibn Khairan. The plot charts how their lives are interwoven and ultimately sundered by the demands of their different faiths as Al-Rassan is pushed over the brink of holy war. <br />
<br />
It really made me think, more than anything else, about how bloody stupid and pointless organised religion is. All it really serves to do in the novel is propagate suffering and unhappiness, while spelling the doom of culture and civilisation. The people of Al-Rassan are condemned for their luxurious and pampered way of living by both the Jaddites in the harsh north and the Muwardis – fanatical zealots utterly devoted to Ashar – in the deserts to the south. The city of Ragosa, ruled by the largely secular, wine-drinking King Badir and his Kindath chancellor, seems like by far the nicest place to live in the peninsula, and both Jaddites and Muwardis would prefer it to be destroyed. Where they see excessive luxury, I see the march of civilisation. The Kindath are hated by everyone, only tolerated because they have to pay more taxes, and this book really made me think about how much, and how unjustly, Jews have suffered over the centuries. I won't get into spoilers, but the amount of pain the Kindath go through in this novel, when they and they alone are uninvolved in the conflict, is nothing short of appalling when you consider that this happened to real people.<br />
<br />
It's on the small scale is where it really hurts, though. Rodrigo and Ammar, the titular Lions, the two best men in Al-Rassan, become friends while exiled in Ragosa. Despite different faiths, different cultures, different sides, they grow to love each other, recognising each other's extraordinariness. And when war comes to Al-Rassan, they are forced to part – and if that sounds like a spoiler, I assure you it's not hard to see coming. This is what religious hatred does: it doesn't just end lives, it ends wonderful, life-affirming friendships. Practically everything good that is accomplished is when Jaddite, Asharite and Kindath work together, disdaining their differences. Hatred, the natural offspring of religion, achieves nothing but death and destruction.<br />
<br />
Jehane's father Ishak deserves his own mention, actually, because the idea of doctor as hero is another big theme of the book. Despite the punishment inflicted upon him by his king after performing a particularly remarkable surgery on his wife, he is adamant that he would do it again, because that's what doctors are supposed to do. Even in the scenes of blood and battle, Kay is very clear that true heroism lies not in ending lives, but in saving them.<br />
<br />
Apart from anything else, The Lions of Al-Rassan is a spectacular example of what can be done with fantasy when the author is willing to do something completely different from everyone else – which is pretty much the point of fantasy, to be honest. It's a truly wonderful story, and one that I really can't recommend enough. Both a brilliant adventure and a genuinely thoughtful meditation on the triumphs and follies of mankind, it uses the prism of fiction to look at real issues and examine the human condition in stunning depth, just like fantasy should. It's a novel of friendship and love, brutality and beauty, humour and heartbreak. It moved me to tears on several occasions. Read it.
<br />
<br />
EXCITED EDIT: Guy Gavriel Kay himself tweeted this blog. A promising new beginning, I think.<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en-gb">
On LIONS. 'a brilliant adventure & a genuinely thoughtful meditation on the triumphs and follies of mankind' <a href="http://t.co/kyIFArn9sB">http://t.co/kyIFArn9sB</a><br />
— Guy Gavriel Kay (@guygavrielkay) <a href="https://twitter.com/guygavrielkay/statuses/434080498231824384">February 13, 2014</a></blockquote>
<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-12031383800057339852014-02-13T09:40:00.002+00:002014-02-13T09:42:06.555+00:00New beginnings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfK8doHb6Zj7Dc5JUpypTp8h_IrMn0StMZul8LBGV1LvWFtX1SMSm_iDg5UmtYe4_Crsy8AzIay_qjo5iFgciIAxZ8jAHh_4V2FQx-k0ssl1ERTAqkqHnFVTIFcd62eishL9ixem-YZ6nb/s1600/Dance+with+Dragons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfK8doHb6Zj7Dc5JUpypTp8h_IrMn0StMZul8LBGV1LvWFtX1SMSm_iDg5UmtYe4_Crsy8AzIay_qjo5iFgciIAxZ8jAHh_4V2FQx-k0ssl1ERTAqkqHnFVTIFcd62eishL9ixem-YZ6nb/s1600/Dance+with+Dragons.jpg" height="232" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I'm bringing back my blog! I've been inspired to write something by a book I finished recently, and wasn't sure where to write it but here. I'm not sure how long the reanimated corpse will shamble on for - the cleric I got the Raise Dead spell from seemed a bit drunk - but I'm going to try and get back into the habit of blogging at least semi-regularly. In order to motivate myself, I'm changing what I talk about on here. I write film reviews and articles elsewhere, so this is going to be a space for more niche, genre stuff that interests me a lot but might not be so interesting to a big audience. I'll probably end up talking about SF and fantasy a lot, and in all likelihood comics too. If that sounds like stuff you'd like to read, stay tuned.<br />
<br />
The Dread Pirate is back!The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-49415497122267636662012-07-24T18:07:00.002+01:002012-07-24T18:08:08.229+01:00Eragon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" height="320" src="http://images.wikia.com/inheritance/images/9/98/Eragon_Poster_8.jpg" width="216" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Oh
dear. The success </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>The
Lord of the Rings</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
created a boom in fantasy filmmaking, with some very good stuff
resulting, but with every boom must come a bust, and thus here we
have </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Eragon</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">.
A failure on almost every possible level, I can't even recommend it
as an unintentional comedy; and when a bad fantasy film cannot even
be that, it's a sure sign of how utterly wretched it is. The source
novel, written by a fifteen year old, isn't actually as bad as you'd
think. It's not that good either, but it's reasonably entertaining,
and there's certainly worse high fantasy out there. The film,
however, is one of the worst the genre has ever produced.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">A young farm boy called Eragon (Edward Speleers) finds a
dragon egg in a forest, which soon hatches into one of the last
dragons left in the world. Unfortunately, agents of the evil empire
from which it was stolen come to get it back, and murder Eragon's
uncle while he's away. Eragon therefore teams up with a wise old
wizard (Jeremy Irons) and a loveable rogue (Garrett Hedlund) in order
to rescue a princess (Sienna Guillory) from a dark wizard (Robert
Carlyle) and get the dragon to the hidden base of the rebels so they
can fight against the empire.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The
plot is, beat for beat, character for character, stolen from </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Star
Wars</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">,
and it takes place in a boring clone of Middle-earth. I'll be the
first to admit that </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Star
Wars</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
wasn't the most original film, borrowing liberally as it did from
Kurosawa films and the old </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Flash
Gordon</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
serials, but at least it did new and interesting things with the
tropes it borrowed; </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Eragon</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
is just a rote rehashing of tired fantasy cliches which weren't even
that interesting when they were new.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Even ignoring the borderline plagiarism, the script is
appalling. The characters are utterly lacking in personality, and the
film is in such a rush to get to the end that nothing that happens
has any impact. At 99 minutes long, it's far too short for an epic
fantasy, and has no time for character development or explanation of
the plot, jumping disjointedly from one uninteresting set piece to
another. The dragon goes from hatchling to fully grown in about 30
seconds, and despite being apparently too young to breathe fire at
the beginning, so little time has passed between beginning and end
that it goes from “too young” to “napalm-vomiting death
machine” in the space of about two days. </span>
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Furthermore, a film which cost $100 million has no
excuse for looking this bad. Since they apparently spent most of the
money on the dragon, most of it takes place in dull forests and
hills, and director Stefen Fangmeier has none of the eye for
spectacular scenery which made Peter Jackson's opus so remarkable.
Instead of orcs we have tribesmen with body paint (because they're
cheaper), and the grand final battle is disappointingly, if not
surprisingly, small and boring. It looks like a direct-to-DVD film.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The
cast don't help matters. Ed Speleers shows all the acting ability of
an </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Attack
of the Clones</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">-era
Hayden Christensen; John Malkovich is barely in it; and Robert
Carlyle is given nothing interesting to do as a colourless knock-off
of Darth Vader. Jeremy Irons is the film's one saving grace, trying
admirably to lend some gravitas to the proceedings, but even he can't
do anything with this script. His performance makes you long for his
Profion from </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Dungeons
& Dragons</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">,
because at least he was having fun there.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">There is nothing to recommend this film. From script, to
cast, to effects, it's a complete and unambiguous failure, and will
go down in history as one of the immortal low points of the fantasy
genre. At least there's no chance of a sequel.</span></div>The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-20741223779212963822012-06-13T17:46:00.001+01:002012-06-13T17:46:10.188+01:00Solomon Kane<br />
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<a href="http://www.thatfilmguy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Solomon-Kane.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="204" src="http://www.thatfilmguy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Solomon-Kane.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Because
of the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger film, the Robert E. Howard
character most familiar to audiences by far is Conan the Barbarian,
and the aforementioned film has gone on to be considered one of the
classics of the sword-and-sorcery genre. However, the character of
Solomon Kane was created by Howard four years earlier than Conan, but
it wasn't until 2009 that he got his own film. It did very poorly at
the box office, only making back about half its budget, which is a
real shame, because while it will never be as iconic, it's every bit
as good as Arnold's </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Conan</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">James Purefoy is Kane, an English mercenary leading an
attack against the Ottomans in North Africa. After capturing a
fortress, he encounters the Devil's Reaper, who informs him that his
soul is damned because of all the terrible things he's done. Fleeing
in terror, Kane makes a new life for himself at a monastery in
England, hoping that by showing devotion to God and renouncing
violence his sins can be absolved. Unfortunately, a new evil soon
arises, requiring Kane to take up arms again, and thus risk damnation
for himself in order to defeat it.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The story is, in all honesty, nothing remarkable, and
the final villain Malachi (Jason Flemyng) only appears for the last
ten minutes and is not very memorable. All the same, Purefoy's
performance is excellent, perfectly embodying the tormented Kane, and
appearances by Pete Postlethwaite and Max von Sydow are very welcome.
The atmosphere more than makes up for the relatively weak story, with
the muted colours, bleak landscape and chunky violence creating a
strong sense of a land on the brink of destruction. The action
sequences are a particular highlight, a good combination of blood and
brutality with genuinely skilful choreography; the fact that the
characters wield guns as well as swords, rare in this genre, allows
for a lot more variety than other films.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">It's
wonderful how all-inclusive </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Solomon
Kane</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
is for the fantasy genre. Along with the expected knights and
mercenaries, there are witches, undead, ghosts, and an enormous fire
demon straight out of Hell. It takes somewhat of a kitchen sink
approach, throwing everything it can think of into the melting pot
and seeing what works. In a lesser film the abundance of magical
elements could be a weakness, but it's executed so well and played so
straight here that it's hard not to be drawn in; another film might
be ashamed of its pulp fiction origins, but </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Solomon
Kane</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
wears them proudly on its sleeve and elevates them to genuine
quality, despite the fact that the plot has very little resemblance
to Howard's original stories.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">If
you enjoy sword-and-sorcery films, I can't recommend </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Solomon
Kane</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
highly enough. It leaves itself open for a sequel, which is unlikely
to be made because of the very poor box office returns, but it's
still an excellent standalone film. It will never be as famous as
</span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Conan
the Barbarian</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">,
not least because, while a much better actor, James Purefoy is not
Arnold Schwarzenegger, but in a lot of ways it's a better film, and
is certainly the best epic fantasy film this side of </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>The
Lord of the Rings</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">.</span></div>The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-66484050607154021912012-05-21T21:36:00.000+01:002014-03-07T13:25:42.143+00:00Watchmen<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGEQ2-XQqgNKEidmQr00oqMknrQ03q-B1vIrXhV0vF28LRd4YEm9mJR_wHZGISTvIoV9_-VTPNmMt2psc1_BvSPJG-vY-bYz1sd4wv6JGC7vjOpoE7vTqsdgV3BHswYGId6Jtt6QnNg2m6/s1600/Watchmen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGEQ2-XQqgNKEidmQr00oqMknrQ03q-B1vIrXhV0vF28LRd4YEm9mJR_wHZGISTvIoV9_-VTPNmMt2psc1_BvSPJG-vY-bYz1sd4wv6JGC7vjOpoE7vTqsdgV3BHswYGId6Jtt6QnNg2m6/s1600/Watchmen.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Generally
considered one of the best and most influential comic books ever
written, </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Watchmen</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
was one of those things that no one ever really expected to see
turned into a film, not least because it was in development hell for
twenty years before finally getting made. The general opinion was
that, even if it did get made, it would probably be a failure both as
an adaptation and as a standalone film. Fortunately, the general
opinion was wrong. Zack Snyder's film is far from perfect, but it's a
brave, fiercely ambitious work, and about as good as an adaptation of
the comic as we could reasonably have hoped for.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">In an alternate 1986, superheroes are, or were, a fact
of life. Most have either retired or been forced into retirement,
with the exception of the state-sponsored Comedian (Jeffrey Dean
Morgan) and the unbalanced psychotic Rorschach. When the Comedian is
discovered murdered, having been thrown out of the window of his
penthouse apartment, Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) takes it on
himself to solve the mystery, and ends up uncovering a conspiracy
which could bring America and Russia to nuclear war, forcing the old
heroes to come back out of retirement.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">It is, unfortunately, a very difficult film to
summarise, and the above description doesn't nearly do it justice.
This was one of the biggest fears for the film version: the comic is
astonishingly deep and multi-layered, and it was believed that there
was no way all that depth could be successfully put on screen. Sadly,
people were correct about this; there is quite a lot of material
missing, mostly consisting of backstory and tertiary characters. All
the same, the opening credits montage does a fantastic job of filling
you in on what you need to know about the background, set to “The
Times, they are a-Changin'”, and is actually one of the film's best
sequences. While the lack of extra material is a shame, David
Hayter's script is very pragmatic, and the sections of the comic
which have been cut are ones which probably ought to have been cut
for a film version: it never feels like anything crucial is missing.
People complained about the absence of “Tales of the Black
Freighter”, a comic within the comic, but frankly, while hugely
important in the comic, it's pretty much the first thing which should
have been cut when writing the screenplay.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">While
</span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Sucker
Punch</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
did reveal that Zack Snyder can't write a coherent screenplay to save
his life, what it does share with </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Watchmen</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
is spectacular visuals. He may not be able to write, but he can
certainly direct, which hopefully bodes well for the upcoming </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Man
of Steel</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">.
It's safe to say that, by this point, close-up shakycam has more or
less run its course, and Snyder takes great care to make sure the
camera is stable and pulled back far enough that the audience can
appreciate the care which went into composing the scenes. The other
nice bonus is that it results in some fantastic fight sequences; he's
greatly increased the complexity of the fights from the comic,
changing the characters' fighting styles from relatively simple
street fighting to full-blown martial arts, and the scene where Nite
Owl (Patrick Wilson) and Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman) break into a
prison is a particular highlight.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: small;">It
was one of those films which people thought couldn't be done, and in
many cases, shouldn't be done. Alan Moore remains staunchly opposed
to any adaptation of his work, and I can understand why, as </span><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Watchmen</i></span><span style="font-size: small;">
is, by necessity, very simplified compared to its source material.
All the same, taken as a film on its own merits, and acknowledging
the difficulty in adapting such complicated source material, it's a
fantastic accomplishment, and while it didn't do brilliantly at the
box office, it's sure to become a cult classic in the years to come.</span></div>
The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3901637576441028668.post-91811009121233301072012-04-10T14:35:00.006+01:002012-04-10T14:46:52.115+01:00Highlander<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSbuN5Kt67zqsJDKMJRsW841LJFZFlX6zGpqfgt3wdmwRtXTrBMnmmALMv0gyn1YqeOoOMs3DdWhyjBoH-va2YM0RNOzNydKanAiedMS1O9IlrTPodP0OlBVnOR8imNY_4gHwMrC0cKRVR/s1600/Highlander.jpg" style="font-size: 100%; font-family: Georgia, serif; "><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 201px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSbuN5Kt67zqsJDKMJRsW841LJFZFlX6zGpqfgt3wdmwRtXTrBMnmmALMv0gyn1YqeOoOMs3DdWhyjBoH-va2YM0RNOzNydKanAiedMS1O9IlrTPodP0OlBVnOR8imNY_4gHwMrC0cKRVR/s320/Highlander.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5729767212088737394" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left; "><span ><span>The crop of fantasy films made in the 1980s are a mixed bunch. On one end, there are the legitimate epics like </span><i>Conan the Barbarian</i><span> which still hold up well today, and on the other there are crimes against art and reason like </span><i>Hawk the Slayer</i><span>, which nonetheless end up being priceless entertainment because of how astonishingly bad they are. </span><i>Highlander</i><span> falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum: there are plenty of good aspects to it, and even if the whole is less than the sum of its parts, it's still worth a watch. It operates on much the same level as </span><i>Flash Gordon</i><span>, despite the fact that it isn't intentionally cheesy.</span></span></div><p class="western" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span ><span>In a lot of ways, it's exactly what you'd want from a sword-and-sorcery flick. It has entertaining ideas and a big scope, even if the budget is never quite up to the task. The premise is that there are Immortals among us, who can only die from being beheaded, and they are destined to fight until only one is left, whereupon he will claim the Prize. The hero is Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert), a 16</span><sup>th</sup><span> Century highlander, who believes himself to be an ordinary man until he is fatally wounded by the villainous Kurgan (Clancy Brown), but refuses to die. He meets another Immortal called Ramirez (Sean Connery), and is taught the ways of their kind and the rules of their Game. 400 years later, in New York, the few remaining Immortals convene for the Gathering, to fight to the last: there can be only one.</span></span></p> <p class="western" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span ><span>A lot of what makes the premise work is that the film never wastes time explaining it. How do the Immortals know what their task is? Why do the rules of the Game prevent them from fighting on holy ground? How do they know that the last one will claim the Prize? In avoiding explanations, the film never gets bogged down by minutiae, and the mystery over who the Immortals are lends a greater sense of the fantastic and the epic to the film. All the same, it's a very daft film, and probably ought not to work as well as it does. The cinematography is very nice, with the Scottish highlands lending themselves well to the task, but the special effects are a very mixed bag, with wires being clearly visible in many of the fight sequences. This is a particular shame because the fights are actually very impressive, with the duel between the Kurgan and Ramirez featuring possibly the best decapitation ever committed to film. And it would be remiss of me to not mention the thundering soundtrack by Queen, which is just as good as their soundtrack for </span><i>Flash Gordon</i><span> and without which the film would not be nearly as enjoyable.</span></span></p> <p class="western" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span >Ropey effects aside, the film's biggest problem is its lead. Christopher Lambert looks the part, but it was on the basis of his looks that he was hired: when he arrived on set, having not met any of the crew before, director Russell Mulcahy discovered that he couldn't speak English, and so he had to learn during filming. This is the source of the bizarre train wreck of what I can only assume is supposed to be a Scottish accent, made even more jarring by having the very Scottish Sean Connery as his mentor. He is also partially blind, which means that his swordfighting is sadly never as good as it could have been. It's a real shame, because Connery and Clancy Brown, despite the latter's voracious devouring of scenery, are very good in their roles, and Lambert seems very subdued and uninteresting compared to them.</span></p> <p class="western" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm; "><span ><span>All these flaws aside, I do recommend </span><i>Highlander</i><span>. It's still one of the better fantasy films that don't star Frodo or Westley, and would probably be remembered as fondly as </span><i>Conan</i><span> if the effects had been better and it hadn't been blighted by a string of terrible sequels. Lambert is still a better actor than Arnold, though.</span></span></p> <p class="western" style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-size: 100%; font-family: Georgia, serif; margin-bottom: 0cm; "><br /></p>The Dread Piratehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17915992198604705408noreply@blogger.com0